First of all, sorry for the delay—I’m even later than usual with this recap, and it’s not because I’ve spent the last 36 hours in orgiastic celebration over our road victory over the Nuggets. Nor is it because I was semi-mourning the fact that our win prevented me from opening with the phrase, “Things to do in Denver when you’re dead tired.” No, the reason is quite simple: after sputtering around for a few weeks, my 5-year old Dell (which means it’s, like, 80 in computer years) finally crapped out. Definitely can’t say I didn’t see this coming, as it was getting steadily more decrepit and senile over the past few weeks. So after getting tired of carrying around a beadpan for it, I decided to pull the plug. And now that I’ve got my cute new laptop (I feel like Carrie in Sex in the City), here we go…

According to Wachovia, the Pivotal Moment of the Game was Gerald Wallace’s block of Carmelo Anthony’s layup late in the 4th to help preserve the Bobcats’ stunning road victory over Denver. I disagree. I say the pivotal moment came about midway through the third when Wallace got no call from the refs while driving to the hoop, despite the fact that he was leveled by Allen Iverson, who did everything but strangle G-Dub with one of Francisco Najera’s kneepads. Watching at home, I was terrified that Wallace, already operating with one technical for arguing an equally ridiculous charging foul earlier, would get up, proceed to start swinging at the officials—possibly armed with one of the arena’s numerous “Pepsi…Perfecto” billboards—and get himself ejected.

Instead, in a great camera shot that someone needs to send to NFL Films so they can repackage it in slow motion and set it to an appropriately dramatic score, Gerald sat in place, took a breath, resignedly shook his head, and continued on. It was apparent that Gerald had accepted his fate and understood that in basketball, as in life, certain VIPs get better treatment than the rest of us. So G-Dub turned the other cheek and kept playing.

And at least last night, practicing non-violence paid off. Gerald had one of the greatest games of his career (25 points, 13 boards, 2 steals, 2 assists) and the Bobcats beat a top-caliber team that fields two of the League’s reigning superstars. It was downright inspirational. Oh yeah, I’ll say it: I’m inspired!! I wish I had something to get inspired about right now. Let’s see…I have a case study to prepare in one of my marketing classes…there you go! By god, this is going to be one of the greatest marketing case studies ever seen!

We beat a Denver team despite putting Iverson on the free-throw 12 times. In fact, if the game plan was to force AI to beat us, we were definitely successful. Often he was so omnipresent I thought he was cloned (although that's also possibly because everyone on Denver seems to have a headband and does look vaguely alike on my crappy late 90s TV). He was their entire team (31 points, 8 assists, 4 steals), and as I mentioned, he is a foul-drawing savant. He’s practically slutty about it; he doesn’t care who fouls him, and it seemed like everyone had a piece of him. I think even Sean May got called for a reach-in, and May didn’t even suit up.

And speaking of May, I hate to sound like a whistle-blower here, but what’s going on with him? I don’t have the stats in front of me, but I would guess he missed approximately a million games last year with sore knees, and now he’s got them again? Perhaps after seeing Carl Pavano and Dan Morgan essentially miss two straight seasons with my beloved Yankees and Panthers, I’m a bit paranoid. But as talented as May is, if we’re only going to get Tony Soprano-level work hours from him, I’d rather he be on someone else’s payroll. May’s absence was exacerbated by yet another missed game from Primoz Brezec, out with a bulging disc (though I fail to see how anything on him “bulges”). On the other hand, Jake Voskuhl played some key minutes, and appears to be all the way back from his stomach illness, which must have been less serious than originally thought (perhaps all he’d done was see that new Ben Stiller movie).

I’ve gotta be nervous right now if I’m a Nuggets fan. They’re like a sit-com with two great actors but a pretty poor ensemble; they’re the NBA’s 227. Granted, all the roles are represented: JR Smith is the 3-point shooter, Marcus Camby is the shot-blocker, Steve Blake is the decent point guard, Nene can be the rebounding center, and Reggie Evans is the wacky next-door neighbor, but will any of them step up and be the surprise scene-stealer—the Jackee, if you will? Remains to be seen…

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“After an emotional win last night,” commentator Matt Devlin said in the middle of the Bobcats blowout loss to Golden State, “you could see a game like this developing.” This game didn’t “develop” so much as it “detonated.” I didn’t hang around long enough to find out what the official Wachovia Pivotal Moment of the Game was, but my vote would have been for the tip-off. The Bobcats got off to about as good a start as those troopers jumping out of the boats in Saving Private Ryan, trailing 21-2 after about 30 seconds. And then it got worse. How bad was it? Garbage time lasted long enough for Walter Herrmann to score 19 points.

Players are fond of likening their great performances to video games. “It was like a Playstation game out there,” Gilbert Arenas will say after scoring 40 points. The Bobcats were like video games too last night, except they were a bunch of Atari 2600’s out there. Admittedly, a three-game West Coast trip is brutal, and they were playing for the second night in a row after an OT-win, but they looked positively asleep out there. They left the Warriors open to hit 10/17 3-pointers, turned it over 22 times, and were lazily outscored 30-5 on fast breaks. They were twice whistled for delay of game calls for not being in proper uniform—presumably they’d forgotten to tuck their pajamas in.

After giving up 40 in the first quarter, the Cats—to their credit—actually cut the deficit down to 7. Gerald Wallace put in a spirited 19 points, and Okafor, who may have proven that he can literally get a double-double in his sleep, had 10 points and 12 boards. But Raymond Felton had just 3 points, Matt Carroll had 1, and then there was that pesky thing known as the second half…

Just a few games removed from their 8-player Extreme Makeover trade, I’d say Golden State is poised for a run. They made me a believer, at least; I feeling like calling them Golden Shower State for the way they pissed all over us. They already had a strong nucleus (or “nuculus,” as the President would say) with B-Davis, Monta Ellis, Mickael Pietrus, and up-and-comers Andris Biedrins and Matt Barnes. Now you add Al Harrington, who dropped us like his Mohawk with 29 points on 9/11 shooting, and Stephen Jackson, who had 17 points? Yikes. It wasn’t until late in the 3rd quarter that the delighted Oakland crowd demanded—and got—Sarunas Jasikevicius, but he’s also fully capable as well. As long as Jackson can avoid more headlines such as this one on ESPN.com a few days ago: “Judge: Strip Club Incident Violated Jackson's Probation,” (question: isn’t that headline kinda missing the main gist of that affair, which was that Jackson fired a gun several times at a car?), the Warriors will be fine, especially when Jason Richardson returns…

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“What was going on last night?” My wife asked me this morning, “I kept hearing you scream something about ‘the mamba.’” Indeed, last night illustrated exactly why I could never be a sports announcer. With 9 seconds left in regulation, the Bobcats up three points, and the Lakers in-bounding, here’s how it would have sounded if my comments had been on the air: “Watch the mamba, watch the mamba, NOT THE MAMBA…(Bad word, screamed repeatedly)!!!”

In this morning’s Charlotte Observer, Rick Bonnell wrote that Kobe Bryant “forced overtime by hitting a three-pointer over (Matt) Carroll with less than two seconds left in regulation.” This was not technically true, as Bryant actually hit his trey over nobody. That's right, with time winding down, the Bobcats somehow forgot to cover the most deadly clutch shooter in the game, which is a little like your friend inviting you over to a barbecue but forgetting to mention that he also slaughters his own cows beforehand—not sure how you could forget a thing like that. In fairness, it looked like Derek Anderson and Matt Carroll got confused in coverage, but if you’re going to err with Bryant, you’d prefer it to be with more guys than less. If the Bobcats had mistakenly quadruple-teamed him and left Sasha Vujacic all alone, for instance, that would have been more understandable.

Nevertheless, Charlotte pulled it out in overtime and did so with surprising ease, outscoring the Lakers 15-6 in the extra frame. I was really proud of them, as I kept having the image of the team getting off the bus prior to the game and sizing up the Staples Center like a bunch of wide-eyed Axl Rose’s at the beginning of the “Welcome to the Jungle” video (complete with Carroll chewing on a straw of hay). Plus Lamar Odom returned from injury and Andrew Bynum had 11 points, 16 rebounds, and 7 blocked shots, which was the first time I’d ever seen him demonstrate such prolonged effectiveness; normally, he’s collected two fouls before they’ve even finished with the player intros.

Fortunately, the Lakers were without Kwame Brown, who I seem to recall hearing had recently injured himself on a cake—either that or he injured a cake, I forget which. Either way, Emeka Okafor had enough freedom down low to put up 20 points, 18 rebounds, and 5 blocked shots of his own. Okafor made up for a rare off night by Sean May (6 points on 3/10 shooting) but was helped out by a rare on night from Adam Morrison (6/17 for 13 points). Carroll had 24 points and 6 rebounds (yawn), and Gerald Wallace also continued on his tear with 18 points, 9 rebounds, and 3 steals. I actually breathed a sigh of relief for Wallace when this was over, because it was the kind of night in which you fear G-Dub might end up needing a leg amputation—very physical and chippy, with both teams screaming about the lack of calls, even though there was a total of 61 foul shots.

The Bobcats have got to be the unofficial league leaders in Number of Times Opposing Announcers Have Said About Them, “The _’s have got to be careful, because the Bobcats are hanging around.” This has become the second-most annoying line to hear (the first, by the way, is when a GM gets asked in an interview if there are any trades he’s considering, and he says, “Well, first of all, let me just say that we’re always looking to make the team better…”, as if that’s somehow deeply insightful). There’s something vaguely insulting about being described as “hanging around,” because it implies that the other team should just be blowing us out, and the only reason we’re in it at all is because they’re making mistakes. I suppose it’s one thing if the announcers for the Suns or Mavericks say it, but are the Lakers (and ESPECIALLY Cleveland) good enough for their announcers to be saying it? We did sweep them, after all…

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In our forum , we've been gathering a list of 100 things that we've learned about the Bobcats in the past year.  Below we have the first 50. Read and enjoy.

1. Bernie should be fired as coach.
2. Bernie loves "his guys"
3. Kareem Rush acted and played like a bitch.
4. Bernie hates rookies
5. Bob Johnson is cheap
6. That the bobcats show what you can do with lots of hustle and hard work, even though your inexperienced
7. that the bobcats forgot the above sentence this year.
8. We wont get respect(or foul calls), so we gotta somehow earn it
9. We draft good
10. Emeka offensive game is coming along nicely
11. Ray Felton plays better when BK is injured.
12. Sean May isn't the illegitmate love-child of Fred "Rerun" Berry and Fat Albert, He is actually a legitimate NBA baller with some serious game.
13. Adam Morrison is a scorer NOT a pure shooter.
14. Michael Jordan will not do anything for us.
15. Any FA's we pick up are useless.
16. The cats have one of the best arenas
17. We not only draft well, we EXPANSION draft well. (Wallace, Knight, Brezec; we also had Zaza Pachulia, Jason Hart, Eddie House, and Keith Bogans)
18. We have the best identity of players: Stasche, Crash, etc
19. Gerald Wallace seems to shoot all of his jumpers off balance.
20. A Bobcats player has never scored more than 41(Gerald Wallace), grabbed rebound more than 19(Emeka Okafor-twice), dished assist more than 20(Brevin Knight-twice), blocked shots more than 8(Emeka Okafor) and stole the ball more than 8(Gerald Wallace) in a match.
21. Primoz Brezec has no long term future with this team.
22. May does not get enough minutes.
23. J.B. is a waste
24. The Bobcats need an "Enforcer", somebody who is ready, willing and able to knock another player on his ass.
25. Matt Carroll is a way better player than we all thought that he was coming into this season.
26. This site has moved ahead of realgm as the best Bobcats talk on the web
27. Bernard Robinson has no jump shot. His whole game is driving to the basket out of control with that goofy spin moove.
28. When Brevin Knight runs the point, he holds the ball too long before getting the team into their offense.
29. In response to 28, Brevin makes sure to dish to the players that will be more certain not to cut into his minutes due to their play.
30. Bernie should coach the Knicks. They need someone to start it from scratch.
31. We have the weakest coaching staff in the league with Bernie Bickerstaff, JB Bickerstaff and Jeff Capel.
32. We have an obsession with drafting the players that will make it onto the EA NCAA basketball games. (Okafor, Felton, Morrison)
33. We fall apart after halftime a lot
34.Felton sets up some great shots for the players around him but sometimes they have a hard time finishing.
35. We are not clutch
36. We are the least respected team in the league.
37. We get NO calls from the officials
38. When any trade rumors come about, we adamantly deny any of them.
39. We will not trade any players, unless it's for minimal value and no use to the team.
40. Sean May's midrange jumper is reliable.
41. None of our other big men should even think about taking a jumpshot.
42. We have extreme difficulty making perimeter shots.
43. We foul way too often.
44. We have the coolest Argentinia basketball player in the world (Walt)
45. We have a turkey starting at center (Primoz)
46. we will get a lottery pick every single year
47. we may not have the best players, but we do NOT have any criminals
48.  we don't overpay any players on our roster
49. Our Coach doesn't have a clue
50. We are inconsistent.
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Somehow the Bobcats ended up playing the Pistons on Wednesday night for the fourth time this season. I’m beginning to think the schedule-makers must be under the impression that we’re the Green Bay Bobcats or something. Either that or they believe Charlotte is located in western Pennsylvania, because it seems like we've played more Central Division teams than Southeastern ones this year.

The Pistons had revenge on their minds after we ran our record to 2-1 on them with a win last time in Detroit. I’m not sure what the Bobcats had on their minds, but it was undoubtedly deep and poignant, because they really looked distracted at times. Perhaps they were concerned over the worsening situation in Somalia, but whatever it was, 18 turnovers and just 63% from the foul line indicate a lack of focus. The other excuse being tossed around was our paucity of available big men. True, Jake Voskuhl was sick and didn’t play, so that was one key injury. And if you count injuries to Primoz Brezec, Melvin Ely, and Othella Harrington…well, that’s still just one key injury because those guys don’t play much anyway. I mean, we ought to just call them “Dwayne Casey” Brezec, “Shine” Ely, and “Scooter” Harrington if we’re going to use them as the scapegoats for this loss.

The one bright side was Gerald Wallace, who had 29 points and 11 rebounds and seemed like a one-man band at times. Just call him Herbie Hancock, because often he was directing, producing, and performing all of our offense by himself. Occasionally G-Dub collaborated with Emeka Okafor, Raymond Felton (the usual 17 points and 8 assists), and an efficient Sean May (14 points and 6 boards in just under 28 minutes). But we could have used some more guest appearances. Adam Morrison doubled his output from last game, which sounds good until you realize he only had three points against Toronto. He also appeared unable to keep up defensively with Chris Webber, which is kind of disturbing when you think about it. Meanwhile, Matt Carroll, who has been “unconscious” lately, finally came to last night with just 4 points, and it was Tayshaun Prince’s defense that provided the smelling salts.

I was pretty bummed out by such a flat performance at home. Needing something more lighthearted and cheery, I flipped over to HBO and watched Munich. Oh well, I’m sure we’ll see Detroit again. Considering the schedule thus far, it’ll probably be next week…

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