What a wonderful weekend it was for yours truly. First, on Saturday I got a late-arriving Christmas present consisting of gift cards for iTunes and Starbucks. This is like giving Eddie Money two tickets to paradise. I love both companies; roughly 75% of my paycheck goes to their products. If I were an NFL wide receiver, they would be my baby mamas. And even better, on Sunday the Bobcats do the unthinkable by defeating Detroit!
I say “unthinkable” because Detroit is all wrong for Charlotte, even if they’re a lousy team. Tayshaun Prince can’t seem to do anything against anyone except against us, and sure enough, he went perfect for the first quarter. Rodney Stuckey and Brandon Knight tend to expose our backcourt defense like Angelo Mozilo to a tanning both, and Charlie Villanueva cripples us like polio with 3-pointers. And then last year they added Greg Monroe, and then this year they added Andre Drummond, who’s more money than Phillip Drummond. It’s just too much; the game hadn’t even begun yet and I’d already pre-quit.
Fortunately, the Bobcats didn’t follow my lead. They somehow rode an almost entirely backcourt offense to victory. 77% of the Bobcats’ scoring came from the 1-3 positions (and with players like MKG and Jeff Taylor manning the SF slot, I have no problem including them as part of the backcourt). At one point in the second quarter, after yet another driving layup from Ramkemben Gorsesswalk, Pistons commentator George Kelser noted, “You might be able to double that pick-and-roll, especially with Brendan Haywood providing the pick.” Truer words haven’t been spoken since Jay-Z claimed that “life is short, then you on life support,” and the Pistons soon got wise. I expected Detroit to start cutting off the Bobcats’ guards like a beard in an Amish shearing attack, but they were either unwilling or unable. Walker, Gordon, and Sessions kept going 1-on-4 at the rim, kung fu movie-style, and it kept working.