The 2012-13 NBA season has begun. We’re two days in, and all we know is that the Los Angeles Lakers are 0-2 and stink and that the Rockets might have made the best trade of all-time after landing James Harden.

Okay, well maybe that’s a knee-jerk reaction. The Lakers haven’t looked great, but it’s still very early and their team is mostly new and hasn’t spent much time together. And as for Harden, his sick 37 points, 12 assists and six rebound line surely made the trade and huge contract worth while for one night. But it remains to be seen if he’s worth everything Houston gave up in the long run.

Again, things we kind of know, but really don’t know at all. And that’s the NBA for you. Which is precisely why we’re going to scour our Charlotte Bobcats 2012 November schedule in order to cement in their fate before it even happens.

Actually, the hope is that we’re way on the under, and that the Bobcats exceed expectations. Like we’ve seen after just two days, it’s a crazy NBA, and you just don’t know. Here’s a quick breakdown of every November game and our “on paper” prediction for the first month of Bobcats ball:

All right, it’s time to face the music and preview the centers.  What would the “music” be in this case?  Probably an endless loop of “Barbie Girl.”  I’ll work my way up from Gana Diop to Brendan Haywood to Byron Mullens—in other words, in ascending order of functional basketball player.

Let’s start with the large, spherical humanoid Diop.  To his credit, Diop did seem to shed some weight over the offseason, quieting the rumors that he was originally given up for adoption by Biggie Smalls and Aretha Franklin.  But his pockets will continue to stay fatter than his belly, thanks to the $7.4M he’s owed this year.  There was a good reason why GM Rich Cho didn’t amnesty him, though, which I’m sure Cho will tell us as soon as he thinks of one.  In the meantime, we’re stuck watching him work on his 4-year single-digit PER streak like it was a stack of Triple Meat Whataburgers.  He shot an amazingly terrible 34.7 TS% last year, probably because in order to make it to the hoop the ball had to first overcome Diop’s gravitational pull.  Defensively, he can’t hold opponents any more than he can hold the barbecue sauce at Jack in the Box; opposing centers put up a 21 PER against him last year, meaning basically every big he went up against played at a near-Greg Monroe level.  At least we shouldn’t need him for more than about 12 minutes per game this year, which is fortunate because anything more might cause his heart to suddenly explode.

My original plan was to turn from previewing the forwards in the first column to the centers in this column.  But then I saw Gana Diop’s gargantuan landmass body and Louisiana Purchase-sized contract and realized I needed to turn away.  I’m sorry, but I just can’t talk about him yet; there are still too many demons.  Plus I just got through the Tyrus Thomas/Bismack Biyombo combo we’ve got going on at the 4-spot, and to go from there to the Brendon Haywood/Gana Diop platoon at center would be like having to review back-to-back screenings of Battleship and Sparkle.  So instead I’m going to pace myself by hitting the guards next.  I should have a hold of myself in time to talk to the centers later in the week.

As for the guards, to the extent that the Bobcats have a best unit, this is it.  I was thrilled that Charlotte didn’t re-sign DJ Augustin, who had regressed last year and started suffering chronic injuries.  For better or for worse, Rich Cho has shown that he’s not going to overpay anyone.  In the case of letting Augustin walk (or limp out on his cracked feet) and signing Ramon Sessions to a stunningly reasonable 2-year, $10M deal, it’s all for the better.  As the bigger player, Sessions is much more effective at getting to the rim than Augustin was and a more able rebounder and defender.  If you want to be as conservative as possible, you can just consider his time with Cleveland last year and ignore his time with the Lakers, in which all of his stats got turbo-boosted (and, needless to say, Cleveland’s team is a far better comparison to Charlotte than the Lakers).  With the Cavs, Sessions’ eFG% and passing rating were basically on par with Augustin’s, but he took more than twice as many foul shots and held opponents to a PER of 16.5—compared to Augustin’s 19.8.  These might seem like small potatoes, but consider that the Bobcats would have had to make a qualifying offer of $4.4M to Augustin to retain him, and for just $600K more they got a better all-around player who has also played in over 95% of his games since 2008.  The fact that I have had to justify this move more in accounting terms than in basketball terms is admittedly not very inspiring, but just remember all of this when we see Augustin sitting on the Indiana bench for a third of the season, nursing his cracked feet and tendinitis.

This was supposed to be Kemba Walker’s team last year. But then D.J. Augustin played so well that the rookie wasn’t needed as a full-time starter. That, and it was arguably that he wasn’t 100% to be that guy, either.

With Augustin in Indiana, it was looking like 2012-13 would be Walker’s time to shine. However, with the addition of veteran point guard Ramon Sessions Walker’s real-life and fantasy status is suddenly looking a little shaky.

But let’s give Walker a break for a minute. While he’s clearly not going to be Michael Jordan this year in Charlotte, it’s fair to wonder just how much juice (or minutes, if you will), Sessions will sap from him. In turn, it’s worth wondering if Sessions will be a guy worth targeting in fantasy basketball drafts this year. After all, it’s not like the dude is without talent, and it’s not like he hasn’t been able to produce in the past.

In fact, at about 30 minutes per game, he actually has some decent upside. And considering Walker (regardless of how much he plays) isn’t a natural pass-first point guard, it’s reasonable to think Sessions could have a shot at matching (if not topping) his numbers as a Los Angeles Laker.

Wondering whether or not veteran combo guard Ben Gordon can help the Charlotte Bobcats turn their fortunes around is anyone’s guess. It’s also probably a waste of time.

The dude’s a pure scorer. He’s lights out from long range, can take most defenders one-on-one, can get his shot off whenever and wherever he likes, and he can change any game at any given time.

But he’s not an elite defender, leader, or season-changer. It’d be nice if that were the case, but Gordon isn’t a natural point guard and is under-sized for shooting guard. It makes him a defensive liability, and can often lead to him getting snuffed out of the offense.

But that’s if you’re trying to gauge his real-life impact. His ability to affect your fantasy team in fantasy basketball, well, that’s a whole different story.

Either way you look at it, Gordon can and most likely will bring a whole lot of offense to Charlotte this year. Look at it as a smaller, less ball-hogging Corey Maggette coming in to launch treys and try to open up a struggling offensive attack.

If you look back at his days in Chicago, the addition of Gordon is actually pretty darn exciting. He’s been the owner of two 20+ point per game seasons, while averaging over 40% made three-pointers for his career. He also does a solid job of getting himself to the line (nearly four times per game for his career), and knocks those freebies down at an 85.9% clip.

The guy began his career with the Bulls with five straight seasons with 15+ points per game, with his last three offering up 18+ per game.

But then came that whole “playing for the Detroit Pistons” thing.

The Charlotte Bobcats aren’t going to contend for the league lead in points per game. Luckily, in fantasy basketball, there are more ways to accrue points than just getting balls into the basket. And doubly luckily, Byron (or B.J.) Mullens is pretty good and hitting open shots, as well as adding stats in other places.

In 2011, Mullens shocked people in a sense by being more ready to make an impact than many believed. After being nothing more than an after thought in Oklahoma City for the first two years of his career, Mullens finally got his chance as he was thrust into action for a bad Bobcats team last season. He responded by showing impressive shooting touch and an ability to score.

On the season, his numbers aren’t very gaudy. He averaged 9.3 points, five boards 0.9 assists and 0.8 blocks per game, while shooting 42% from the field and 82% from the charity stripe. Not exactly elite numbers, I know. However, his minutes were sporadic the entire year. Foul trouble and shaky defense had a lot to do with that, as did just being a young player in his first season with a new team.