I always love when a team unveils new uniforms, because it means we get these adorable, quasi-gay photos of the players fondling each other in them, looking as if they’re about to break into song. This latest sartorial change to the Bobcats has the added bonuses of a) looking cool, b) taking one step further away from the original toxic orange color that made Brevin Knight look as though he had been dropped in a vat of radioactive Fanta (or just actual Fanta). Even better, they’ve stripped the “Bob” out of the “Bobcats,” so we’re less reminded of original owner Bob Johnson, a man who remains genuinely miffed that fans weren’t more excited about his 30-win teams that had no regional cable deal, and that he couldn’t get more support from the community (other 100% funding for a brand new $260 million arena).
Can’t win for losing. I mean seriously, the Hornets? The Hornets, George Shinn ruined this city for NBA basketball and now, the Hornets get the Number One overall pick in the 2012 NBA Draft?
I don’t even want to get into the conspiracy theories, because it’s so simple to look that direction. I just want to wallow in the misery of losing yet again, in an arena where no one was in control. The Charlotte Bobcats will select second in the upcoming draft. Anthony Davis, the unibrow, the consensus player of the year in the NCAA as a freshman, will be a New Orleans Hornet and the Bobcats will have to pick from the rest.
It’s not so much that Davis is that much better, it’s the fact that everyone else is within a whisker of each other. So from one crap shoot to another. I still contend, as I would have if the Bobcats had won the lottery, that there is no such thing as a sure thing when it comes to evaluating 19 year olds to play basketball.
So, now it comes down to talent evaluation. Haha, you see what I did there? Anyway, I feel like the Bobcats have a great team in place to select exactly what they need. Hell, Rich Cho and Rod Higgins could come up with a guy they like better than the prohibitive favorite, in the goofy-lookin’ Davis. (I will continue to bash him, until he’s out of the league in 3 years)
If you look back in NBA history, we can recall many hmmm moments in the NBA Lottery. Remember when Patrick Ewing became the saviour of the Big Apple? I’m also sure you remember Tim Duncan going to San Antonio to be one of the Twin Towers when the Admiral was near the end of his career. How about Lebron James going home to Cleveland, then Derrick Rose going home to Chicago? Then we have the most recent, when Lebron James took his talents to South Beach and the next thing you know, the #1 Pick goes to Cleveland?
Maybe these Cinderella stories are just coincidences, or maybe there is a little more to them than we will ever know. Either way, they happened and there is no turning back now. So let’s just focus on tonight and hope that we get the #1 pick.
If a hmmm moment happens tonight and goes in the Bobcats favor, I can give you 5 reasons why I think it might have happened.
I’d like to pick this thing apart like an autopsy. The Bobcats 2012 season was dreadful. I guess you have to still call it 2011-2012 season, because the Bobcats actually played 3 games before New Year’s Day. But does it really matter?
Actually, yes. It does matter because likely the most significant positives came in those first two games. The Bobcats actually won against Milwaukee in that first game, and former Bobcats Stephen Jackson and Shaun Livingston. The next game, it took a Dwayne Wade last second shot to beat the young Bobcats. Wade showing “the Superman” to Cam Newton, who was in the crowd, hopefully cheering on his hometown Bobcats, was an indelible image from the season.
No, those were the salad days. When the season was young. If you look at the big picture of the season, you see one glaring, overwhelming, undeniable truths that will likely not be pushed aside for years, if ever: The Charlotte Bobcats are the worst team in NBA history.
“The worst,” isn’t defensible. You can’t make claims like “Well, they show some promise and if it weren’t for….” No, you can’t defend the Bobcats of the 2011-2012 season. Epic futility, even in a shortened season, with a young team in flux, isn’t able to be cast aside like it was expected or a link in a chain of events that was somehow planned.
Tanking couldn’t be the reason for the lowest winning % in NBA history. Michael Jordan claims that the Bobcats weren’t even going for the most ping-pong balls. So, worst in the league, not a goal, worst ever? Far from it. I still argue we’re talking about Michael Jeffery Jordan here. He’s one of the world’s greatest competitors. They invented the quote “I don’t care if you’re playing basketball, checkers, tidly-winks or whatever, he hates to lose,” about the owner of the Bobcats. But, we all also know that his exploits as owner and executive haven’t come close to what he did as a player, even in his time with the Wizards. That says a lot.
I thought it was strange, early in the year, when there was a meeting that apparently absolved Paul Silas and his coaching staff of all responsibility of the misery heaped upon the franchise through epic losses. I thought Silas might see the Bobcats through whatever was coming after this horrible season, but I was further confused when I heard Marv Albert and Mike Fratello on the TNT broadcast basically sealing Silas’s fate as Bobcats’ coach.
They said, basically, that Silas could come back to the team, in some aspect, but likely not as the head coach. This was confirmed today, by Rick Bonnell of the Observer. For all we know, this could be Paul’s decision. He has had health issues, some serious and he’s no spring chicken. If you ask me, however, this was simply a case of not rewarding a guy who led the worst team in NBA history.
Not only are the Bobcats 7-57 against the league, they’re now 0-2 against national columnists. In SI.com, Michael Rosenberg wondered how someone as competitive as Michael Jordan could let something like this season happen. In his ESPN Insider Per Diem column, John Hollinger demonstrated how the team’s atrociousness is historically significant. I halfway expect to turn on tomorrow night’s game against Orlando and see Anderson Cooper solemnly reporting from outside of the arena, wearing a CNN-branded raincoat and describing the situation as an “ongoing catastrophe.” The Bobcats are officially in Secret Service-territory now, a national embarrassment. They’re also the worst nightmare for fans like me, who hope that if their teams can’t be any good then can’t they at least not make a scene?
Nope, they’re making that scene. In fact, they’re getting drunk and throwing up in a crowded restaurant while picking their noses. With spinach in their teeth. “When the Kings arrived in North Carolina on Saturday evening,” wrote Jason Jones in the Sacramento Bee, “they had a practice that focused on what they needed to do to beat the Bobcats.” Does that mean they practiced showing up? Because I’m not really sure what else is required nowadays. The Kings owned more paint than Sherwin-Williams, scoring 78 from close-range. DeMarcus Cousins, Jason Thompson, and Travis Outlaw rampaged through the Bobcats’ frontcourt like George, Lizzy, and Ralph. It wasn’t just Sacramento’s bigs, either; the Bobcats made Isaiah Thomas look like Isiah Thomas, and Tyreke Evans’ notorious inability to develop long-distance range didn’t really matter when all of his shots were slam-dunks. To me, this felt like the first time the Bobcats had genuinely stopped trying, especially on defense. Everything about their effort was humiliating, including the technical foul on Bismack Biyombo (although I guess that means his English must really be coming along).