After my previous, um, “article,” I guess you could call it, Vance asked me for my predictions for the Bobcats this season. Prediction number one will be that my streak of referencing Mr. T ends at two. Really, after BA Baracus and Clubber Lang, what does that leave you? DC Cab? Come to think of it, there was also the moderately popular cartoon series Mr. T, in which the mohawked protagonist (obviously in animated form) somewhat improbably coached a crime-fighting gymnastics team…But I digress. Let’s talk about another team with an improbable coach, the Bobcats. Here are my predictions for this year’s ferocious felines:
Prediction: Kwame Brown will be our biggest free-agent signing all year
How funny/depressing is it seeing headlines on ESPN or CNNSI that say stuff like, “Chris Paul to Lakers!,” “Pau Gasol to Rockets!,” “Dwight Howard to Nets!,” and then you go to the Charlotte Observer and it’s “Bobcats Hopeful Kwame Brown Re-Signs.” Way to crank up the blockbuster excitement, MJ. Our team is so far out of the spotlight that if the NBA were a movie cast, we’d be the key grips. Nobody talented is coming here unless it’s by some sort of wacky accident, Home Alone-style. Even our other “big-time free agent,” Corey Maggette, is at best a C-lister. Did you see that line Bonnell had about him on his profile a few days ago? Bonnell wrote that Maggette “got lost in coach Scott Skiles’ Bucks rotation. By the end he was playing sporadically.” If our biggest free agent got lost in the star-studded cast that is the Milwaukee Bucks, I think I’m going to hold off on breaking out the champagne and strip-o-grams. On the other hand, at least we didn’t sign someone just for the sake of signing someone (yet). Bonnell also wrote, “(Dante) Cunningham’s restricted free-agency might have become a moot point had the Bobcats been successful in their pursuit of free agent Mike Dunleavy.” Wrong, Rick, the Bobcats WERE successful in their pursuit of signing Dunleavy…because it FAILED. Anybody who’s stupid enough to sign Dunleavy and his shot knees to a multi-million dollar deal is the unsuccessful one.