Fortunately the Bobcats’ season remains the only thing in a vegetative state. Michael Kidd-Gilchrist had to be carted off in a stretcher after whacking his head on teammate Jeff Taylor’s hip and/or knee, but as of this morning he appears to have suffered nothing more than a bad concussion. Other than in pro wrestling, it’s never fun to see the paramedics running out with those wheeled gurneys and the neck brace, as they did last night while MKG lay motionless on the court. It all happened in typical MKG fashion, too: he was hustling to try to block Toney Douglas on a driving layup, there was contact, and he fell back into a trailing Taylor.

One of the concerns with MKG was that his rugged play would lead to chronic injuries and an ultimately shortened career, and here we are. He’s already scratched his cornea and gotten a brutal concussion after just 46 games; at this rate, by year 3 he’s going to be playing with a hook and a peg-leg. Of course, I and I’m pretty sure everyone else loves MKG—he’s on pace to capture that place in our hearts that Gerald Wallace still dives around in—so let’s hope little Crash, Jr. can come back soon and be less effective at identifying new ways to maim himself.

I’m paraphrasing Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. when I say that I have a dream that Fox Sports South never throws up a stupid jinxing graphic like this one again. As soon as I saw it flash at the end of the third quarter in the Bobcats’ latest excruciating loss to the Rockets, I knew that the Bobcats were toast—toast in Mrs. Hughes’ toaster. There’s nothing deadlier than those types of stats; they ought to have their own show on Fox primetime and be hunted by Kevin Bacon, who gets called in for one last mission but is in danger of getting too close—is he the hunter or the hunted?

Nah, that’s not true. Howlin’ Wolf ain’t superstitious, and neither am I. And I don’t believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein, or Superman. Besides, why make up reasons for the Bobcats’ pants-wetting performance when there are so many real ones? Starting with James Harden. Harden finished with a line of 5-of-20 shooting, 0-5 on 3’s, 4 TOs, 7 assists, 7 boards, -1 plus/minus, and 19-of-21 from the free throw line. This is one of the strangest lines I’ve ever seen that didn’t belong to Bismack Biyombo and wasn’t made of cocaine. Harden had so many free throws you’d think he’d won a throw raffle. They were all of the infuriating Dwyane Wade-style, too. You know the kind: Harden relentlessly bum-rushes the rim and gets knocked down, so the ref has got to call something on someone. This afternoon that someone was usually Gerald Henderson, Biyombo, Kemba Walker, Jeff Taylor, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist—it was pretty much anyone other than James Harden.

This is how pitiful I am: anytime the Bobcats have a lead in the fourth quarter, I start calculating how soon they could theoretically win if they did nothing except commit 24-second violations for the rest of the game. Then I’ll start changing variables, like how fast the other team scores and whether they shoot 2’s or 3’s. For example, if the Bobcats are up by 8 and we assume the other team scores a bucket every 10 seconds, we could implement a 24-second violation-only strategy starting with 1:42 left. Or let’s assume the opposition hits 3-pointers but it takes them 15 seconds, we could implement Operation 24 with 1:18 left. I’d actually like to see a table of this, like they have for NFL coaches and when they’re supposed to go for the 2-point conversion. Anyway, lately I’ve started doing this earlier and earlier in the game: last night against the Magic, I think I started with about 8 minutes to go in the 3^rd.

That’s because the Cats were improbably ahead by 7 and Gerald Henderson had just gone to the bench. I knew something was wrong, because it was way too early to sub in for him, considering Hendo had been scoring more efficiently than a Fembot. He left the game having gone 8-11 for 17 points and never returned; apparently his back seized up on him. Fortunately, the Bobcats persevered and managed to maintain their slim lead throughout the entire second half, although watching it whittle and whittle was the basketball equivalent of watching Nathan Thurm’s cigarette ash in those old Martin Short bits.

The Bobcats added two more losses to their dossier over the weekend, one a near miss and the other a far miss. Even the relatively close loss to the Pacers on Saturday would need to have an asterisk the size of Bismack Biyombo making a snow angel, because Indiana was without their best player, Paul George. The loss on Friday to Toronto was simply an undistilled humiliation; it was humiliation moonshine. The Bobcats might as well have played the game wearing red ball gags. For fans, every simple and advanced metric of our team generates a stench of losing with long-term rancidity. The best we can hope for is more articles like this one, in which members of the team are reduced to congratulating themselves for not brawling with each other.

These last two losses could also be titled “Revenge of the Obscure Bobcats.” The Raptors now prominently feature former Bobcat Alan Anderson, and the Pacers played ex-Cat Dominic McGuire (and DJ Augustin, but I wouldn’t call him “obscure”; at least, not without calling him many other things first). I have to admit, I consider myself to have an encyclopedic knowledge of the Bobcats, and I’m drawing a total blank on Mr. Anderson (side note: could there be a more useless encyclopedic knowledge of something? Maybe an encyclopedic knowledge of greeting cards for pets?). This is actually not necessarily a bad thing; for instance, I remain tortured by quite vivid memories of Primoz Brezec. Even writing his name as “Mr. Anderson” just now makes me feel like I must have made some sort of stupid Matrix/Agent Smith-type joke about him circa 2006, but I don’t think I did—probably because I was too busy making jokes about Brezec. But anyway, Anderson, McGuire, and Augustin are now all having the last laughs.

Earlier in the year, I bought into Jeffery Taylor being in the starting lineup for the Charlotte Bobcats. Gerald Henderson was out with an injury, after all, and the rookie Taylor gave Charlotte some nice size and length on the wing.

Over a week into January, now, however, I’m not so sure.

It’s not that Taylor is trash, and it’s not that Henderson can’t be effective off the bench. It’s just that it doesn’t make any damn sense.

The Bobcats are not a good team. Take a look at that dreadful 18-game losing streak we all endured, and you know all you need to know. But you’d think that a bad team would at least like to put it’s best players in positions to succeed.

Last year, Henderson was easily one of Charlotte’s best players, if not the best player (arguably). He was primed for a jump in numbers again this year, but an injury derailed him after just two games. Upon his return, Henderson was scoring the ball like he was never out, and was a consistent part of the rotation immediately. The Bobcats were losing at a record pace, but you couldn’t really fault Henderson for that.

The Charlotte Bobcats snapped their disgusting losing streak at 18 games, but there is still a lot of improvement to be made on both sides of the ball. With the NBA trade deadline quickly approaching come February, Charlotte may want to consider sending off some young guys or players in contract years in an effort to land a major upgrade.

And while at the moment it’s just gossip, there’s a real chance the Bobcats make a legit run at landing a potential superstar. It’s just a blurb in Marc Spears’ NBA Power Rankings, but it’s still worth noting: the Bobcats could make a run for Sacramento Kings’ big man DeMarcus Cousins.

With Byron Mullens hurting and struggling with consistency even when healthy, landing a balanced star like Cousins could completely change the dynamic of Charlotte’s attack at both ends of the court. The Bobcats already have a steady and growing young point guard in Kemba Walker and a forward with loads of upside in Michael Kidd-Gilchrist. Landing a premier threat down low that can pound inside, shoot mid-range jumpers, handle the rock and even play defense could go a long way in helping Charlotte turn back into a playoff team.

It wouldn’t be a lock to happen this year, but it would certainly be a huge step in the right direction.