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Bobcats End Season Lacking Dignity, Commas in Their Fan Appreciation Ads

Look at it this way, Bobcats fans: at least “.106 winning percentage” doesn’t make for a very catchy derisive chant.  Not only is Charlotte officially the worst team ever, with 23 losses to close out the season (23—the Irony-Meter’s on 10), one month-old Bobcats fans everywhere are wondering if the Bobcats will ever win a [...]

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Bobcats Give In and Cry, Say ‘Live and Let Die’

Not only are the Bobcats 7-57 against the league, they’re now 0-2 against national columnists.  In SI.com, Michael Rosenberg wondered how someone as competitive as Michael Jordan could let something like this season happen.  In his ESPN Insider Per Diem column, John Hollinger demonstrated how the team’s atrociousness is historically significant.  I halfway expect to [...]

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Local Man on My Commute Probably Unaware of Being Metaphor For Bobcats’ Season

I spent Wednesday night watching the Bobcats get pummeled by the Bulls, and then I had to spend the following morning on the subway watching this guy get pummeled by what smelled like Old Gran Dad.  Both visual experiences were equally depressing.  It’s just no fun watching people futilely attempt something at which they’re pathetically [...]

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Carrie Now Officially Sympathizing with Bobcats Fans

Amazingly, the Bobcats continue to break new records in humiliation.  I personally thought they topped out by losing back-to-back blowouts to the Cavaliers and Wizards last week, but it turns out they were just getting warmed up.  In fact, those games were mere wedgies and “Kick Me” signs compared to the bucket of pig’s blood [...]

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Tanks For The Memories

It doesn’t take Keith Olbermann to call this a countdown.  Nor does it take Beyonce, Rush, and T.I.  Nor would Europe be wrong in calling it the final countdown.  Perhaps even Megadeth wouldn’t be going too far in calling it a countdown to extinction.  With just 8 games to go in this Somali election of [...]

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Without Dwight Howard In Lineup, Bobcats Lose to Wizards

I’ll say this about the latest two Bobcats games: as bloodcurdling as they were to witness, they provided us all with perfect clarity.  I had been holding out a shred of hope that the team could somehow avoid the worst record of all time, and now I no longer do.  If we can’t beat the [...]

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