As I suffered through the Bobcats’ ill-fated invasion of the crumbling Boston Celtics empire on Wednesday, I was reminded of why I love the Showtime drama Dexter so much.  Dexter’s plot had an extremely shaky starting point (a story about an affable serial killer named Dexter) that has only grown increasingly ridiculous with each new season.  In this way it’s just like the Bobcats.  And just as I do with the Bobcats, I ignore all of Dexter’s flaws and will continue to be a fan no matter what comically implausible conclusion it eventually comes to.  But I could say that about lots of shows on TV.  Dexter’s great ability, at least for me, is that it gets me to not just like Dexter but to actually cheer for him.  And if there’s one thing I know I can count on with Dexter, it’s this: he always—always—wins.

This is obviously in sharp contrast to the Bobcats, and I’m convinced it’s what keeps me coming back for more.  It’s extremely enjoyable to root for someone or something that always wins.  Sure, Dexter’s definition of “winning” varies slightly from the standard sports definition of “winning.”  In sports, “winning” typically means “scoring more points than your opponent”; for Dexter it means “capturing a murderer, strapping him to a table in your ‘kill room,’ laconically itemizing his crimes so that he is fully aware of why he is there (and having 100% incontrovertible truth every time), slicing off part of his cheek so that you can store his blood as a trophy behind your air conditioner, stabbing him with a machete, mutilating his body parts, wrapping them in trash bags, dumping them into the Gulf of Mexico from the boat that you can inexplicably afford with your police lab technician salary, repeating this process at least once a week, and always avoiding suspicion from your police colleagues despite the fact that your mother was murdered by a serial killer, your sister was engaged to a serial killer (who turned out to be your brother, whom you then murdered), your wife was murdered by a serial killer, and the one cop who DID suspect you of murder died in a ‘mysterious’ explosion.”   Rooting for Dexter is like rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for US Steel.

My goal is to always remain optimistic without being completely unrealistic when I write my posts, but I have to say that the Charlotte Bobcats are making it awful hard to do that these days.

The scene from White Men Can’t Jump where Wesley Snipes is getting hustled by Woody Harrelson keeps coming to mind when I think of this team. I picture Wesley in a Bobcats uniform with his hand in the air going, “It’s pretty! It’s so pretty!”

Then Rosie Perez stands up and yells out (in her best Puerto Rican accent), “Oh no it ain’t! Go pay your taxes!”

For those of you that do watch the Bobcats I am sure I don’t need to tell you how bad things have been. I think the game Wednesday night against the Portland Trailblazers should be treated like Lord Voldemort in the Harry Potter series; it will be “the game that will not be named.”

We knew that this season would be a tough one, but this is starting to hurt to watch; 3-20 and in the midst of an 11 game losing streak following Saturday’s game with the Phoenix Suns. When will the pain end? When will these guys win another game?

Before we figure out the best chance for that let’s take a look at what these guys are capable of and how they stack up to the rest of the league:

This game appeared to be more about the Celtics indifferent play heading into the playoffs than a stunning upset by the Bobcats. But to give due credit, the ‘Cats had as many players (four) scoring in double figures as the Celtics. Charlotte notched their third win against nine losses so far in March. That makes the game more about the lack of intensity from a Celtics team assured a playoff spot.

Amazed aren’t you. I am also. Using bench players (except for Wallace) to beat Celtics? Who would have thought that, even with four all-stars and one former all-star on their team. Coming off successive losses to Heat and Mavs, the Bobcats finished triumphantly in a victory against one of the elite.
However it was also toughness that kept the Bobcats in the game. Kwame Brown was extremely aggressive tonight, trying to muscle his way into the paint, and for the most part he did that extremely well. Unfortunately the shots didn’t fall, however until a pivotal moment in the 2nd quarter at 3:25. Kwame and Perkins went face to face, Kwame clearly showing he wasn’t afraid and was not going to back down. Great stuff Kwame. Also enter Najera. Takes an elbow from the dirty KG, but compares him to his grandmother. Later on ices the game with a devastating 3. Lovely stuff from a guy I did not expect to impact at all.
However the biggest story of the night was the bench dominating the Celtics. Shaun Livingston sliced and diced the Celtics with his mid-range jumper, going 7-10 and scoring 18 points. Great from a guy who a lot of people didn’t expect to even be playing basketball, let alone scoring like that. He’s lost a lot of his explosiveness, but Livingston’s sweet mid-range jumper is always helpful.

If you believe in “moral victories” then by all means this could be considered one.

The Bobcats have a long history of pain and suffering against these Boston Celtics. Our hardships against this team have been all over the map, we’ve experienced the torment that is s a Ray Allen last second shot that hits you like a dagger to the aorta  and we’ve had to endure far too many of your standard fare 25 to 30 point beat downs  from these jokers in green. With that being said, when rumors hit early on Friday that discussions have been taking place that would ship Bobcats Co-Captain and the only All-Star in team history away to the Cavs for their trade exception, most of us figured that the because of the distraction we would get a poor effort tonight.

Newsbreak:  For the sake of accuracy, It wasn’t enough that we would be trading away Gerald Wallace for what amounts to an IOU, in order to make the deal suitable  to the Cavs we would need to do the honors of throwing in an additional lottery protected 1st round pick. If those are truly the parameters of the deal and it goes down the way that its being rumored then the reaction of the Bobcats fanbase will probably look a little like this:

The hate runneth over.  I had an invite to the game tonight and man I couldn’t be happier I turned it down.  Horrible is one word for it.  Disappointing, frustrating and confounding.

Here’s how it started:  Interesting pre-game comment from Larry Brown on backup point guard Shaun Livington: “He’s playing at the speed of the YMCA league. We’ve got to get (him) to play the speed of the NBA.” – Charlotte Observer

Followed by a rousing cheer for the Celtics as they were announced:  @Packnic I’d say its 70/30 Celtics fans at Charlotte time warner arena tonight. Never felt sicker. #bandwagon

The Cats were up for most of the first quarter actually, up to the 3 minutes to go mark.  Then Boston just became the team who has been to the finals two of the last 3 years, has the original “Big 3″ of these new wave “superstar” teams; meanwhile the Bobcats became the expansion franchise who has had one All-Star and an amalgam of players of middling talent with contracts awarded for seemingly out of their “ordinary” play.  What I mean to say is, at this point the Bobcats seem to be a talented team but are not while they’re paid like All-Stars.

Twenty-Two turnovers, leading to 25 Boston points.  While Boston wasn’t much better, 19 turnovers of their own, they only led to 17 Bobcats points.  19 extra possessions, 17 points.  They can’t convert, more likely, they turn the ball right back to the Celtics.  It’s disappointing.  Outrebounded 38 to 48 and they didn’t have anyone but their Turkish Rookie big-man playing.  That’s outhustled.  When you have a size advantage with Nazr Mohammed and Kwame Brown, an athleticism advantage with Gerald Wallace and kind-of using Dominic McGuire and Derrick Brown (if coach would let him play), when all that is going for you on rebounds and you don’t win that battle, that can only be attributed to hustle and perseverance.