“We’re giving heavy minutes to a lot of young guys, and that’s a lot of seeds in the earth that will eventually be harvested,” Bobcats coach Mike Dunlap said after the Clippers peed all over his flowerbed last night, 104-86. Dunlap’s strategy is nice and all, but Charlotte has been nothing but harvesters of sorrow for their drought-stricken fans this year, and last night was no oasis. Every Clippers point seemed to come either via 3-pointer or explosive dunk that left the Bobcats running for cover.

The game’s only bit of irony—a 6-point Bobcats lead after the first quarter—was quickly extinguished midway through the second quarter. “For 20 minutes we played fantastic basketball,” Dunlap said. “We had the lead, but we made some turnovers that they made some dunks off of, and…it carried over into the second half.” He’s perhaps over-simplifying the final 28 minutes a bit, but he definitely identified the turning point. Los Angeles went on a 15-5 run with 6 minutes left in the second quarter to melt Charlotte’s popsicle, and it was a rim-shaking siege of Blake Griffin- and DeAndre Jordan-authored savagery. Meanwhile, Charlotte responded with a turnover five-of-a-kind: traveling (Byron Mullens), bad pass (Kemba Walker), bad pass (Mullens), bad pass (Michael Kidd-Gilchrist), bad pass (Walker), and…bad pass (Mullens again, just missing the bad pass hat trick). Again, though, the Bobcats didn’t so much go cold as they went Bobcat; Charlotte is 29^th in both offensive and defensive efficiency (inexplicably still ahead of Sacramento in both categories—the Kings are the Hummer of NBA efficiency).

The Bobcats looked less interested than a blind man at a peep show in their loss to the Hawks on Thursday. Then again, nobody seemed to care about that game, not even the Associated Press guy covering it. Check out this except from his recap: “The Bobcats were coming off a dispiriting home loss Wednesday to the Los Angeles Clippers in which they blew a seven-point lead in the fourth quarter…The Hornets were led (in their previous game against Atlanta) by Ben Gordon, who scored 20 of his 26 points in the fourth quarter.” First of all, they never blew a 7-point lead against the Clippers in the fourth quarter; they trailed the entire fourth quarter right through the final buzzer, at which point the game ended. I guess you could technically say that they blew a 1-point first quarter lead and were outscored over the game’s final 41 minutes, but that wasn’t any more dispiriting than normal. So I’m guessing the guy just cut-and-pasted something wrong. But calling them the “Hornets”? Man, that was just cruel—is he trying to jinx us?

Actually, if he was trying to jinx us, how would we even know? We’re talking about a team that has dropped ten games in a row, so putting a jinx on them now would be like throwing a black cat in front of a guy who just fell through a manhole and drowned in a sewer. I don’t mean to imply that the Bobcats have been unlucky, however, as luck has had nothing to do with it. Unluckiness hasn’t left all those opposing 3-point shooters more open than a Chinese restaurant on Thanksgiving, nor has it allowed opposing bigs to abuse the Bobcats’ frontcourt like painkillers. Nope, the Bobcats don’t have the personnel to compete offensively or defensively, and it looks like we’re in for another long season in the abyss.

The Bobcats played as the Carolina Cougars on Saturday night, and “Cougars” is a fitting name for this team, considering how many of their losses are over 30 and pathetic.  Their opponents were the Clippers (playing in LA Stars throwbacks that must have been created before the invention of fonts), and Blake Griffin and his tag-team partner DeAndre Jordan threw down more than a Real Housewife on Ladies Night.  Overall, it was a desperate, embarrassing experience that made me want to curl up with a jug of ice cream and watch Sex and the City reruns.

I can’t imagine what poor Dell Curry, legendary 3-point maker, is going through as he watches nights like this, in which the team went 1-for-14 from behind the arc and shot 35% overall.  It’s like forcing Steven Spielberg to watch and comment on the movie Cannibal Holocaust.  At one point, you could even sense Curry’s despair, as he began addressing players directly over the air.  “You can’t do that, Byron,” Curry pleaded with Byron Mullens after he clanged (“clanged” is actually too strong a word, as it implies that the ball actually hit the rim) a terrible jumper late in the third quarter.  “I know you want to score, you want to make some shots, but you’ve gotta move the ball,” he moaned insistently.  I could imagine his sidekick Steve Martin turning off his mike, grabbing a delirious Curry by the shoulders, and saying, “No, Dell, Byron can’t hear you, Byron can’t hear you!  It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault.”

The back of Cory's head--and that Griffin kid.

If you have not watched basketball in the last week, than you have no idea who Jeremy Lin is. To find out all you have to do is turn on ESPN. The Asian Sensation has become the hottest name in basketball as he has stepped out of obscurity on February 4 to lead the Knicks to a much needed win over the New Jersey Nets.

Most of you are probably still asking who this kid is. Well, in a nutshell he could be one of the most perpetually underrated talents. The big schools ignored him even though he was clearly one of the best players in California. Harvard gave him a chance, and he went on to be a two-time All-Ivy League first team player.

Just like after high school, he was largely ignored by the NBA once he was finished playing college ball. He got some interest as an undrafted free agent, and ended up taking less money to go with the Wizards; a year later they kicked him to the curb.

Now he’s led the New York Knicks to a five-game winning streak, and is dangerously close to making them relevant again.

By now I bet you’re wondering what in the world this means to the Charlotte Bobcats. Easy—

Where in the world is our Jeremy Lin?!?!?!

My goal is to always remain optimistic without being completely unrealistic when I write my posts, but I have to say that the Charlotte Bobcats are making it awful hard to do that these days.

The scene from White Men Can’t Jump where Wesley Snipes is getting hustled by Woody Harrelson keeps coming to mind when I think of this team. I picture Wesley in a Bobcats uniform with his hand in the air going, “It’s pretty! It’s so pretty!”

Then Rosie Perez stands up and yells out (in her best Puerto Rican accent), “Oh no it ain’t! Go pay your taxes!”

For those of you that do watch the Bobcats I am sure I don’t need to tell you how bad things have been. I think the game Wednesday night against the Portland Trailblazers should be treated like Lord Voldemort in the Harry Potter series; it will be “the game that will not be named.”

We knew that this season would be a tough one, but this is starting to hurt to watch; 3-20 and in the midst of an 11 game losing streak following Saturday’s game with the Phoenix Suns. When will the pain end? When will these guys win another game?

Before we figure out the best chance for that let’s take a look at what these guys are capable of and how they stack up to the rest of the league:

So, Monday night, the Bobcats had to face off against a shape shifting Skrull who has somehow managed to capture the ability and raw athleticism of a 22 year old Shawn Kemp and mimic it in the form of Los Angeles Clipper Blake Griffin.  Having to face off against this type of alien being did not bode well for our beloved Charlotte Bobcats