Blogcat’s Take, 1/31

Posted by on Jan 31, 2008 in Los Angeles Clippers, Sacramento Kings | 0 comments

Apparently, the Bobcats can no longer beat anyone unless the opponent is missing at least two of its best players.  We dealt with Chicago (Gordon, Deng out) and the Clippers (Kaman, Maggette, Brand out), but alas, Philly and Sacramento had the nerve to play all their guys—no fair!  I forget whether ESPN.com’s John Hollinger’s Playoff Predictor system accounts for injuries or not (it either does, it pisses everyone off, and he has to spend a week afterward explaining/apologizing; or it doesn’t, it pisses everyone off, and he has to spend a week explaining/apologizing—I forget which), but I’m imagining our postseason outlook isn’t good regardless.  In fact, after last night’s somnambulant effort in Sac-Town, I don’t even want to look at the odds; I keep picturing one of those “######” thingies you get in an Excel spreadsheet when the cell isn’t big enough for the number.
 
And really, why should they be under triple-digits at this point?  The Bobcats needed a (frankly) miraculous 2-minute sequence in the third quarter against the Clips in which Wallace, Richardson, and Felton—twice in a row!—hit three-pointers just to get us a seven-point win.  They also needed the Clippers to go 0-for-8 from long-range themselves.  Jeez, no Kaman or Maggette, all those 3’s for us and none for them, Al Thornton fouling out in just 19 minutes…I’d say we racked up quite a tab with the basketball gods in this one.  I half-expected to see Coach Sam Vincent genuflecting on his knees during the game.  Instead, he…just sat there with his index finger on his temple and stared blankly, like always.
 
Against the Kings last night, it was time to pay the bill.  On paper, the Kings actually have a pretty decent roster, as long as they’re not asking to be traded (Mike Bibby), not pretending they’re Peja Stojakovic (Brad Miller), not pouting with dubious injuries (Bibby again), and not totally insane (Ron Artest).  They’ve even got lots of depth on the bench with Udrih, Salmons, and Garcia.  And then there’s Kevin Martin, easily the unlikeliest-looking superstar since…ever, possibly.  This would make for a great online poll, actually.  Has anyone ever looked more out of place as a premier NBA athlete?  Even Damon Wayans in Celtic Pride was more believable.  I’m trying to come up with a comparison.  Imagine if Clay Aiken was a Hollywood action-movie star.  Actually, I know it’s awhile ago now, but at the time it was really weird to hear the news that Michael Keaton was going to be playing Batman in the blockbuster 1989 remake—anyone old enough to remember that one will recall a national collective head-scratching.  There’s your Kevin Martin-as-playmaking-god analogy, feel free to toss it out to your friends at work (Martin and Keaton even have the same natural jheri-curl going).
 
So anyway, the awe-inspiring majesty of the Kings marquee roster aside, other than Gerald Wallace, we had nothing going in this one.  Maybe the news that California had failed to pass health care coverage legislation bummed us out.  Perhaps we were expecting the Fed to cut 75 basis-points off the overnight interest rate instead of a mere half-percent.  I don’t know, but the 41% FG shooting was awful, and unless Gerald Wallace finds out he’s one of the Cylon models and starts bringing duplicates of himself to games, we’re in for a rough second half. 
 
The Charlotte Observer charitably wrote that the Kings needed a “late run” for the win, but we were never within 6-points during the second-half and were frequently trailing by double-digits.  And even the first-half had all the characteristics of a stock market bubble about to burst, considering we shot 58% and were still trailing by 3 at the break.  And of course, there were the second-chances—13 offensive boards allowed to a team that’s 25th in the league in that category—that have become the calling card of our suckage.  At least Sam Vincent picked up a tech, thereby showing some signs of life.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Nash has got more technicals at this point.    
 
We also have a new villain, ladies and gentlemen: Mikki Moore.  Not only did he grab 3 of those O-boards, he also decided to play his one decent game of the year.  That’s not why we should hate him, though.  We should hate him because Sacramento stupidly forked over $5.35 mil for him.  At 32, Moore should have been preparing for a second-career as a kung-fu movie villain (he’s got the hair and the flops down; I’m picturing something in which he leads a group of evil Manu Ginobli clones that attack one-at-a-time and bounce and dive off Jackie Chan or whoever).  Instead, he’s Exhibit A in Emeka Okafor’s case for a huge raise.     

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Blogcat’s Take, 1/24

Posted by on Jan 24, 2008 in Los Angeles Clippers, San Antonio Spurs | 0 comments

Don’t call it a comeback!!  Umm, because it wasn’t one.  Neither of them was, actually.  Charlotte hosted two-thirds of the Texas Triangle this week, and although we threatened to win at times in both games, our efforts slowly deteriorated—much like Tom Coughlin’s face in the NFC Championship Game.  That we didn’t win either game is kind of sad, but hardly surprising—like hearing Ike Turner’s cause of death was a cocaine overdose.  There are some reasons to be optimistic, though. 
 
First, Gerald Wallace—our 6’7” can of Red Bull—doesn’t appear to be injured (at least, anymore than he usually is) after he pulled up lame against Memphis and San Antonio.  As an added bonus, Crash also seems to have ditched that ill-fated attempt at cornrows and gone back to his traditional, mid-sized econo-'fro. 
 
Second, neither announcer in either game used the silly, superfluous phrase, “He can do that.”  I’ve started to hate that phrase, and I’m sorry to say that I first noticed it coming from the mouth of one of our own: the late, great Matt Devlin.  Yes, yes, I know he’s a legend, but Matt had the unfortunate tendency to say, “He can do that” a lot.  And then a lot of announcers began invoking the “he can do that” tendency.  What’s the problem with “he can do that?”  Well, it’s right uttered after the player did, in fact, do that.  It doesn’t matter what the “that” was—in Matt’s case, for example, the “that” was often Brevin Knight pulling up and hitting a 15-foot jumper, followed inevitably by Matt saying, “He can do that.”  This in turn would cause me, sitting at home, to say aloud, “Yes, Matt, obviously he can do that, because we all just watched it.”  And now it’s everywhere; it had a bizarre viral spread to all the announcers.  Now it seems everyone loves to note unnecessarily that a player "can do that"…except in these last two games, and for that I’m optimistic.  Speaking of Brevin, I’m happy to see he’s been suiting up for most of the season with the Clips.  Be wary, though, Clippers fans, this tends to be the time of year when his groin goes on a 2-month sabbatical.       
 
Third—and I’ll admit this one’s connection to actual basketball is even less significant than the first two—my office building survived the attack from the Cloverfield monster.  I didn’t see the movie, but check out that poster that shows a decapitated Statue of Liberty and most of the entire south end of Manhattan in flames.  See that building on the far left, the one with the dome?  That’s us—still standing, baby! 
 
As for the games, let’s start with the Spurs.  For whatever reason, we always tend to play them hard—we’re like the Devil Rays to their Yankees.  Early on, we led by as many as 8, and we stayed within 4 points late in the third.  But then San Antonio clamped down on defense (they can do that), blocking a total of 10 shots, notching 11 steals, holding us to only 39 second-half points, and limiting us to just 4 fast-break points.  We also made an abysmal two total 3-pointers, while Michael Finley—who resembles a younger Greg Oden (ha!)—went 3-for-3 from downtown by himself.   
 
Speaking of 3-pointers, we’re going through a sort of 3-point stagflation right now.  On the heels of 2-for-14 long-range shooting against San Antonio, we went 3-for-18 in the next game against Dallas.  Let's see…we’re currently 14th in the league in 3-point percentage and 16th in attempts.  So basically, we take an average amount and make an average amount…And that kills everything I was planning to say, because I was hoping to discover something profound like we’re dead last in 3-point shooting but take the most shots—dammit, so much for that hypothesis.  Still, here’s how we closed out the last 2:30 of the 3rd quarter against the Mavs: Richardson missed a 3, Felton missed a 3, Wallace missed a 3, Carroll missed a 3.  Too bad Nazr Mohammed didn’t attempt a three, otherwise we could have had a complete set.
 
The Dallas game in general was an opportunity lost in the swamp of a stagnant offense.  We failed to capitalize on a 5-minute, 32-second Maverick scoring drought in the fourth quarter by only cutting their lead from 12 points to 7.  Besides all the missed treys, there was way too much standing around.  It was so bad that even the Dallas announcers began to sound frustrated with our lack of motion.  We didn’t get the ball to Mohammed nearly enough (nor did he demand it—7 points on just 3 FG attempts in 27 minutes), and basically just hoped for either Richardson or Wallace to engineer something on their own.  There also wasn’t enough sliding on the defensive end, which is unfathomable because Devin Harris, Jason Terry, and JJ Barea don’t do much other than get to the hoop quickly—thus the opposition has got to be ready to help.  Harris alone torched us for 23 points, most of which were unassisted drives and pull-ups. 
 
And in both games, we saw how limited Okafor is against the benchmark big guys, Duncan and Nowitzki.  They do everything Okafor does, plus they do it better, plus they do more.  If they’re Transformers, he’s a Gobot.  For instance, both are capable of playing much farther out on the perimeter, and as they made painfully obvious: if you pull Okafor too far from the basket on defense, he’s lost.  His offense was solid, but just a block and ten rebounds in each game just isn’t enough.
 
Oh, well.  Perhaps I should just “Accept Roster Reality,” as the Observer’s Rick Bonnell urges.  Apparently, our lineup dilemmas, like playing Okafor at the 5 and Wallace at the 4, and playing McInnis at all, are “unavoidable.”  I fail to see how he arrived at this conclusion (as do the string of hilarious responses posted afterward), but perhaps that's the very point he’s trying to make: it doesn’t make sense, just accept it.  I can do that, I guess…     

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Blogcat’s Take, 12/14

Posted by on Dec 14, 2007 in Los Angeles Clippers, Seattle Supersonics | 0 comments

The Bobcats are now 3-0 in games that aren’t televised.  By myself, I probably represent 50% of Charlotte’s out-of-market fan base, so I think I speak for most of us when I tell you, League Pass, that we do NOT appreciate shelling out all that cash to see our beloved franchise, with its rich history, etc., only to tune in and find the game’s NOT on—especially when they’re playing a big-time powerhouse like the Clippers.  It’s bad enough that I’m marooned up here in NYC, where every time I take my dog for a walk I’ve got to be careful that he doesn’t start chewing on a discarded syringe or licking a homeless guy’s urine bottle, but now I’ve got to fill up this column with lame, unfunny jokes instead of analysis because I CAN’T WATCH MY TEAM.  And then, to top it off, it looks like they went out and played reasonably well!  And considering they’ve only won 8 games total, I’ve missed practically half of them. 
 
Anyway, after I flipped through the 401-412 channels, began drifting into the porn-on-demand region, and eventually accepted that the game wouldn’t be on, I realized that my only alternatives were the Knicks-Sonics game and E3: The Extra Testicle.  Considering both were crude productions put on by people with limited abilities, it was kind of a tough choice.  But I went with Knicks game, just to get a look at Kevin Durant.  K-Smoove was definitely solid with 30 points, and yet…it was accomplished so incrementally—4 in the first quarter, 7 in the second, 10 in the third, 9 in the fourth, and he almost never scored more than twice in a row—that you never felt him taking over the game.  Of course, his athleticism is there, and he’s willing to drive to the hoop despite having less bulk than a Kenyan marathoner, and all of this at 19—yikes, he could become the biggest one-man-wrecking crew since Gandhi 2.          
 
On the opposite end of realized potential, I also fixated on Chris Wilcox.  I can’t help but feel disappointed by him.  It’s not that bigger things were expected from him coming out of Maryland 5 years ago, but…I guess that’s it, actually: bigger things weren’t expected of him.  Forget about his PPG; if you look at him, he’s so naturally big and strong, that how could he only be averaging 5.5 rebounds for his career?  And just .41 blocks a game??  I mean, the guy’s 6’-10”.  I remember after Greg Oden announced he’d be missing the season, Bill Simmons had an excellent article about how some big guys “fill out” their size and weight better than others.  Well, Wilcox is excellently proportioned, and yet you can tell he does nothing to improve upon it.  And look at Hollinger’s scouting report on ESPN.com: “he has no post game at all and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him attempt a real jump shot.”  Well, to be blunt, that tells me he’s really not practicing.  So what's he doing with himself?  I guess just coasting on $6.5 million per.  For the general, non-NBA-adoring public, there’s always going to be a disproportionate amount of coverage devoted to “thuggish” behavior, but for those of us who care about it, it’s guys like Wilcox who will frustrate us much more.
 
So, how’s this for a 180-degree turn: we go from no television coverage at all to prime-time national coverage on ESPN tonight.  It’s okay, though, it’s Orlando, and as everyone knows from last year, we own these guys on prime-time TV.
 
PS—
Romance Tip of the Week: Any of you fellas with better halves out there want some guaranteed action? Take 'em to see Juno ASAP.  It’s not all that funny, the dialogue is completely unrealistic (EVERYONE, including and especially little kids, zing each other nonstop with late-night talk show-caliber one-liners), and an annoying amateur acoustic song breaks out approximately every 2.5 seconds, but trust me: the women will love it.  Not only is there heartwarming romance (the audience in my particular theatre seemed ready to fawn from the giddy-up; there were tons of "Aww"s) in the mood, but there are tons of gal-pal scenes and “you-go-girl” moments—highlighted by Juno’s step-mom going ballistic on an ultrasound technician for whom I felt kind of sorry—that will unleash the tiger in them.  For just a 90-minute investment, you can’t miss…                   

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Bobcats News and Notes: 10/28

Posted by on Oct 28, 2007 in Los Angeles Clippers | 0 comments

Hoopsworld – Bobcats’ injuries don’t alter their postseason expectations

It’s a tough way to look at the situation because Sean is a nice
young talent and great young man, but it’s the harsh reality of pro
sports. The Bobcats – no fault of Sean – are used to playing without
him and it’s hard to believe they will miss him that much.

As for Adam Morrison – he will be a great player in this league. He
had a tough rookie year by any standards, but many great players have
stumbled in the beginning. Adam will be a stud, if he wants it bad
enough. However, you have to ask the question of how much he would have
been used this season.

Adam lost his starting job the moment the Bobcats acquired Jason
Richardson. The addition of Richardson allows Gerald Wallace to start
at the small forward spot unless Adam could’ve beaten him out for it –
something that wouldn’t have happened this season.

120 Proof BallGives their prediction for the Bobcats season

The Good News:  In a Summer that saw KG and Ray Allen
switch conferences, Rashard Lewis get a max deal, and Isaiah Thomas
successfully embarrass an entire state, the acquisition of Jason
Richardson by the Cats went fairly unnoticed.  But it might turn out to
be the coup of all the off-season deals.  He’s the real deal, and plays
both ends of the court. Also, Argentine Walter "I have the least Argentine name ever" Herrmann is one the league’s best unknown hustle guys in the mold of a David Lee or Jeff Foster.
The Bad News: 
The league’s 4 worst defensive players (in this order) are Matt
Carroll, Vladimir Radmanovic, Adam Morrison, and Mike Dunleavy Jr. 
That means the Cats have half of the league’s bottom 4 defenders, and
you could make a case for Primoz Brezec.  That is scarily bad.  Sean
May, who bears a striking resemblance to Homer Simpson with more
pigment, is done for the year after three Butterball Hams and some
micro fracture surgery.
Fearless Forecast:  Okay,
so it’s not totally fearless if you qualify it, but Emeka Okafor will
lead the league in blocks AND win the award for Best Defensive Player. 
That is, of course, if he can keep is dodgey back healthy.  Which is
about as likely as us keeping our dodgey livers unBacardi-saturated. 
34-48

 Money from the parking lot -  Former Bobcat Brevin Knight is not endearing himself to the Los Angeles Clippers coaching staff.

The Clippers have completed their five day training camp, and have
one item of fairly bad news to show for it. According to the LA Times and the OC Register,
Coach Dunleavy is upset that freshly-inked point guard Brevin Knight
reported to camp out of shape. Dunleavy had some extremely choice words
for Knight, which to a large extent speak for themselves. From the
Times:

“He came in and we started running and he wasn’t ready
for it,” Dunleavy said. “I’m disappointed in his conditioning. A
veteran player, you’d think he’d come into camp ready to go. I hit him
pretty hard yesterday and I think he knows I wasn’t happy with it.”

Knight, who signed a two-year deal this offseason worth a reported
$4 million, fired right back at his new coach, saying to the Register:

“Mike can say what Mike wants to say. But when it comes
time to play the games, I’m ready to play. When the games start and I’m
not ready to play, then now we have a problem.”

Not to be the bearer or bad news Brevin, but I think we have a problem already.

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Who wins in a Crash versus an Oak?

Posted by on Sep 9, 2007 in Los Angeles Clippers | 0 comments

In every contest there must be a loser (bonus points to anyone who recognizes that quote) – even if that competition were merely theoretical and in my head.  What contest am I talking about?  Well, I started thinking about the centerpieces of the Bobcats’ team and Gerald and Emeka were the first to come to my mind.  And I started to wonder – who is more important to the success of the team? 

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Bobcats Not Keeping it Brevin, Waive Goodbye to BK

Posted by on Jun 30, 2007 in Brevin Knight, Los Angeles Clippers | 0 comments

This was probably a year too late, but then again I didn’t think they were ever going to do it, so maybe I should think of it as infinitely early.  The Bobcats bought out one of our originals, feisty point guard Brevin Knight.  Knight was a personal favorite of mine for his ruggedness and his utterly unimaginative swearing (I can recall at least three separate incidents in which he was fouled hard on a drive, after which the camera picked him up telling an opposing player, “F—ing f— you, mutherf—er!”).  But the guy just could not stay healthy.  He hasn’t played 70 games a year since his rookie season, and the last 6 years he’s appeared in just 45, 69, 66, 32, 24, and 55 contests.    
 
This leaves me with two questions: a) who’s his replacement going to be, and b) why didn’t management get a PG from the draft at the 22nd pick instead of Jared Dudley?  At the time, Aaron Brooks and Gabe Pruitt were still available, as was that Koponen dude from Finland.  Heck, I think even JamesOn Curry would have been decent, at least as a backup.  The timing on this one was weird, but then again, MJ and the boys suddenly seem empowered.  “I think we’ve got a great makeup and a chance to make noise in the East,” Jordan told the Observer this morning, “That’s what a Jason Richardson brings.”  Yup, it’s certainly what this Jason Richardson brings—any time MJ starts using proper nouns like pronouns, you know he’s feeling good about life.
 
So who do we get now?  Depending on how much Gerald Wallace demands with his new contract, we might be able to lure in Chauncey Billups or Mo Williams.  Or how about Mike Bibby, especially if we can sucker the Kings into going for Sean “Kneeless” May and one of the Hansons?  As much as an atrocity it would be to have to cheer for Bibby, because we didn’t draft Joakim Noah, I feel like I could deal with it.  I also see Daniel Ewing just got his pink slip from the Clippers, and Jordan’s probably lost more in a poker all-nighter than it would take to sign him. 
 
Totally unrelated side note: last night I was cruising Chapel Hill, and I saw this beat up old car with a vanity license plate that read “SABBATH.”  So when I pulled up alongside, I jokingly gave the driver the devil horns and shouted “Ozzy rules!”  Bad move.  First of all, there was, like, a family of five in the car, not some bearded dude in a trucker hat and a Judas Priest t-shirt like I expected.  There were also all these crucifix stickers on one of the side doors and even a Bible facing the back window that I didn’t notice the first time.  All too late I realized the license plate meant “Sabbath” as in, “On the 7th day, the Lord rested,” and NOT as in, “'War Pigs' is one of Black Sabbath’s greatest songs, and it’s too bad Ozzy left them in order to snort lines of ants.”
It’s weird, that whole metal/religious overlap.  Chuck Klosterman once observed that some of the subtitles of the popular religious fiction Left Behind series would have made some stellar metal album titles (e.g., “The Destroyer is Unleashed” and “The Beast Takes Possession”).  And then you have songs like “Creeping Death” by Metallica, which is really just a retelling of the story of Passover.  Anyway, lesson learned; I won’t automatically assume like that again…   

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