Are you ready for some……BASKETBALL!
Charlotte, tonight, is the host of Monday Night Football. Big game with the Panthers and Buccaneers battling for supremacy in the NFC South, first round bye and possibly, if the Panthers were to win the next few games, home field advantage. Rather than Berman, Tirico, Mort, Kornheiser, Young, whoo, getting tired here, Emmitt, Keyshawn, umm who am I forgetting, who are they using for pissed off old guy this year? Oh yeah Ditka, Tom Jackson, Stu Scott (Tarheel), I’m forgetting a few, but I will not forget Suzy Kolber, hot. Anyway, rather than watching their literal cast of thousands, why not flip it up one channel (check local listings) and watch YOUR CHAR-LOT BOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBCAAAAATTTS!? (I know it’s not at home but can’t you take that obnoxiousness wherever you go?)
Did you know the Bobcats have won 6 of their last 7 against Miami? Did you know Dwayne Wade is leading the league in scoring? Did you know that you receive 100 shares of Ford stock every time you by a Lincoln? Did you know that DJ Augustin despite not starting most of the time, he’s only 2 ppg off Beasley’s 3rd place among rookies? Did you know that Emeka Okafor is 4th in the league in both rebounds and FG%? Did you know that the Heat is on it’s a 3 game win streak and is off to it’s best start since 04-05? Did you know Heat Coach Eric Spolstera started with the team 14 years ago as a video assistant? That’s your preview, did you know that?
I’m actually looking forward to this game even though Gerald Wallace is at home in Alabama mourning his Grandmother and we all wish him the best and our thoughts and prayers are with him. Also, Sean McMay has a McInjury. Tendonitis is nothing to laugh about. I’m sure it hurts, but when you don’t freakin move for 2 years yeah your tendons flare up when you play NBA ball for a few minutes per game (14.5 mpg). Have you ever seen a guy that likes to talk to Rick Bonnell about his injuries as much at Sean? And now I see Sean is actually starting along with Dudley, in place of Gerald Wallace.
I think I’m going to do sort of a running diary for the game, well both games if I can keep up.
Hot start for J-Rich, first 2 shots. Believe it or not, first whistle with D-Wade involved: an offensive foul on HIM! Hahaha! Has anyone ever noticed Sean May claps every time something goes wrong for him? “Sean, your burger isn’t going to be ready for about 4 more minutes.” CLAP “Come on man. Can’t I get some free fries for that? And can I get the first order now?” Okafor with a fast break dunk! Have I ever seen that before? I don’t think so. Dudley just got away with the worst travel non call I’ve ever seen. Who spends more time on the floor? D-Wade or Crash? Flash or Crash, ha, that one was just for me. Should I ease up on May? Doubtful, I mean he is still pretty sluggish, still makes his open shots though, but is he open because he’s the last guy down the floor? 3 – 3s for J-Rich so far and we’re only 7 mins in!
I have to look into the offensive rebound difference. Henry Williams and Steve Martin seem to think it’s a major problem. 2nd chance points? Is Capel the “big man coach” or just Sean May’s coach? You see them talk a lot.
Switched to the MNF on ESPN, the QC is looking pretty nice with the blue on top of the BOA building. We are really pretty lucky to have such a photogenic city. Back to what you came for: Bobcats ACTION! Rebounds are going to be an issue tonight, where I thought they wouldn’t. J-Rich has to sit after a bad foul on Beasley, 11 points early. Chalmers is from Alaska, Boozer is too, how many Alaska Mr. Basketballs are there around? Does anyone else think that Ryan Hollins could really help out? You know we complain about our PA Announcer, but at least he doesn’t mooo. Dudley with an awkward run back to the bench, weird. To win tonight, Okafor has to play big. Marion isn’t going to guard him close, Beasley wont really, Haslem, who knows? Garbage call on Okafor with a really nasty block when it was 3 on 1. Ammo hits his first shot is a good sign I think. It seems like he really doesn’t make his first shot often but he did tonight.
How much money does Game Show Gary make? Could you imagine being at that open audition? “Must be incredibly annoying, slick hair, loud, fast talker, no one likes you.” 50 guys just like that and he’s the best. Seriously someone find this guy and kick him in the nuts. Just realized I forgot Cris Carter and Jaws in my rundown of ESPN on-air “Talent.” Why doesn’t Dudley use more of his fouls? HaHAHAHA, Magloire and Beasley fight over rebound and one of them travels!!!! I work on West Morehead about 4-5 blocks from the stadium and there were people there are 4:30 tailgating, when I saw a guy outside my office window drinking a beer while I was working and he wasn’t a crackhead, I decided it was time to go home.
Have you guys seen this many jump balls in your history of watching the NBA? Over and over and over jump balls. The songs they play before them are horrible too. Can someone come up with a list of the best “Jump” songs? Not that lame Madonna thing they play at the Cable Box. They’re lining up the commercials on ESPN and FS-Carolinas. 8:17pm 8:43 left in the 2nd and I’m typing way too much. Tossing up 3s like it’s our job and J-Rich isn’t one of them. So obnoxious with the fouls to D-Wade, that kind of makes the game not that fun, makes you think he isn’t that great or something. I like him but not much. How dumb is the lady on the Wachovia commercial? Yeah I’ll just toss my pay stubs and something with my SSN on top of the recycle bin. Great idea.
Best line-up to help the Bobcats win tonight: J-Rich, Okafor, Dudley, Morrison and Felton. DJ was just trying to run, Shannon couldn’t keep it up for long, May is tired. Obnoxious, D-Wade we get it, draw the foul, draw the contact. 76% FT?! Come on, if you take that many shots they have to start to feel like practice. 3 ball shooting is not Shannon Brown’s game. Ok, so I went over and listened to Kornheiser’s crappy monologue before the game, it was bad, he should only be allowed to talk about Washington/NFC East sports. Anyway, back to the game Bobcats are suddenly down by 6. Jacking up way too many 3s and long 2s. Time to start the frozen pizza, it’s going to be crazy delicious. Nice ally and then the oop DJ to Shannon. Lots of hustle to close out the half. I’m with Larry’s comment a couple weeks ago, if the cats can go after the loose balls, rebounds, go for steals, just hustle, everything else will fall into place.
Down, 8, down 4, run run run, bad miss for Felton, down by 2 on 4 straight baskets by Okafor. Panthers must have stopped the Bucs, cool. 3-0 end of the 1st there. Nice film work by the baseline camera guy showing the form on the sweat mopper guy. Do you feel like the Bobcats don’t finish once they get fouled? Like they are going to the rack, draw the contact, give up. Great example just then with J-Rich. Cats still down by 2 at the 3:25 left in the 3rd mark, that would actually be the 8:35 mark of the 3rd, I can’t do backwards math fast.
66-64 Bobcats take the lead on an Adam Morrison runner. Mek block, garbage call on Ammo, credit D-Wade. Augustin blocked by Wade? Did Spud Webb ever block Mugsey? What’s more likely from last night’s incident involving Jeremy Bridges spraying champagne all over Villa Antonio: He shouted “Don’t you know who I am? I’m back-up offensive lineman for the Panthers.” Or “Don’t you know who I am? I’m the guy from the CPI Security commercials? Haven’t you seen me during the Bobcats’ Games!?”
70-69 a min into the 4th, that’s what she said. Bobcats have the lead off of a 16-4 run or something. J-Rich has 21 but D-Wade has like 80. J-Rich may not get to the line 11 times tonight but he is hitting some timely 3s to break the young Heat. I think they are a nice team but seriously don’t have it this year, except D-Wade. It’s crazy to watch him play. You just say to yourself over and over, “he can’t really be fouled every time he touches the ball.”
Dudley needs to slow up when he gets a steal and thinks he has a breakaway, more points can be made of these. He only has made one shot! 1 point! Steve Martin just said 3 of the starters have a combined 7 points, May, Felton and Dudley! Who cares? Cats are up by 6 with 8:04 to go! Do they call Shawn Marion the Matrix because of his long swinging arms or because of his dead behind the eyes stare? Back to within 3 for the Heat. Forget what I just said, great ball movement leads to a nice 3 by DJ.
This Wade guy is getting on my nerves. Pretty bold on his part dunking on Okafor like that. Elite players make big plays, slow down here and damn it offensive foul on Ray. Get the ball to Mek!! 9:53 Bobcats are tied at 86, Panthers are up 10-3. Who invented the prev chan button? Give that guy a Nobel in something. Does that count as a full or half sack for Peppers, do you think he was inspired by the Bobcats the other night? Doubtful.
Whoa, whoa, whoa Dudley standing outside the circle, takes the charge, Wade knocks him down and tick, tock, tick tock, the Bobcats are almost going the other way, then a call. Total garbage. DJ with a 3, Marion answers with a 2. 46 to go. Garbage loose ball foul on Dudley! Wade out of control falls on Dudley and Dudley fouls out of the game. Larry should be out right now. I mean double tech and maybe a game off, this is ridiculous. Ball don’t lie! Ball don’t lie! HA, flopping bastard. J-Rich just missed 2 free throws. Wow. Then Martin tells us he’s 2 for 7 at the line? 24.4 secs left, Emeka Okafor player of the game, 9/11 on fgs, wow. I hate fouling at the end of games. I forgot to mention, Spolstera does a mini-Bernie routine. DJ misses the drive, yikes. If we lose this game by 5 or less I know where the points were. 5 points in 10.5 secs isn’t a miracle. It’s hard but not impossible. We shall see. Morrison from almost out of bounds, nice quick drawn play by Larry. I was just about to type, why is Adam passing the ball in, in a situation like this? 17 attempts and 4 misses for D-Wade. 18 now same # of misses, 19. 41 points, 12 of 22 on FGs, short-handed my foot. Larry is obviously proud of his boys but dagum make about 3 more ft’s and DJ that runner and it’s a W. I’ll let this sit tonight and then kind of wrap it up tomorrow. Answer some of these 30k questions. Far too many questions.