In an article on Thursday, coach Mike Dunlap said, “We really want to get to 20 wins. It would be important. We wanted to get around tripling our win rate from last year.” After defeating the Milwaukee Bucks on Saturday for their 19^th win, the Bobcats are almost there. Technically they already are there, as 19 is “around triple” 7, right? Yes, 7 just goes into 19 twice when you try to divide it, but there’s a big remainder. Either way, Dunlap’s interview was like Rand Paul’s speech at Howard—it probably came from a good place, but it just made everyone feel worse.

Dunlap’s biggest unintended elbow-to-the-testicle was this line: “20 wins would be special if we could do that. It’s something that would be the first step in a long journey to get this organization into the playoffs.” The thought of this year just being the “first step in a long journey” toward the playoffs is like contemplating the number of burning souls in hell. Fortunately, the article ended on an upbeat quote: “There’s process and there’s results. Unfortunately up here the process sometimes is slower than people want and the results aren’t quite what they want. But it’s our job to stay the course.” In other words, fans, don’t pay attention to the process, which is slow; instead, focus on the results, which…aren’t what you want, either. Wait, coach, when you give us one of these lines about “process” and “results,” one of them is supposed to be going well!

The Bobcats-Bucks game on Monday night featured less defense than the Maginot Line as both teams blitzed each other for 51% shooting. In losing 133-99, the Bobcats allowed the Bucks to score their highest point total since 2009 and—even more embarrassingly—allowed Monta Ellis to be praised for his defense. “He’s playing as hard as he can play,” Bucks coach Jim Boylan said of Ellis afterward, “And he’s doing a whole bunch of things at both ends of the floor.” Ellis may be doing a lot of things, but I wouldn’t count defense among that bunch. True, he had 6 steals, but they were of the classic, Allen Iverson, all-or-nothing variety (quite often resulting in the latter). His primary counterparts, Ben Gordon, Kemba Walker, and Gerald Henderson, shot a collective 20-of-30. Ellis plays defense like Atlanta teachers grade tests.

Not that this matters against a team like Charlotte. When the Bobcats come to town, refraining from picking your nose is about all the defense you need to play to give yourself a shot. And that’s what happened here, as Charlotte allowed Milwaukee over, around, and through them without so much as a harsh word. “We just couldn’t play any defense,” said Henderson, “You ain’t gonna beat nobody giving up 130 points.” You certainly ain’t, Gerald, especially nobody like Larry Sanders, who faced a stiffer challenge against referee Bill Kennedy’s noggin on the opening tip-off than he would the rest of the night. In a performance he probably would give three thumbs up, Sanders finished with 24 points and more offensive rebounds than the Bobcats had as a team. The Bobcats generally struggle with Sanders-type forwards, which is to say competent ones, but it would be nice if they weren’t always setting career highs against us.

The Bobcats have dropped two straight games harder than Manny Pacquiao, causing coach Dunlap to do things like allow Gana Diop on the court.  It’s a disturbing sight for Bobcats fans, as the obese Diop can’t jump and can barely move.  Offensively, he shoots it like he eats it: In-N-Out; his 6 points against the Bucks were his first of the season.  Needless to say, the tactic hasn’t worked; the Bobcats have lost violently to Milwaukee and San Antonio, allowing both teams to fill up the stat sheet like a port-a-john outside a taco stand.

The first half against the Bucks was the Bobcats’ worst since they were thunderstruck in OKC.  It was also more of the same story: the Bucks had 23 offensive rebounds and 14 more rebounds overall.  On offense, if Charlotte didn’t score on its first attempt, it wasn’t going to happen; the Bobcats had more 1-and-done’s than a Kentucky recruiting class.  Coach Dunlap countered in the second half by bringing out Diop—basketball’s equivalent to bringing out the gimp.  To Diop’s credit, he finished a +4 on the night in 22 minutes of so-called “run,” joining Michael Kidd-Gilchrist as the only Bobcats with a positive plus-minus who played at least 20 minutes.  On the other hand, much of that has to do with the tail-end of the 4^th quarter, when Milwaukee emptied its bench.

I was on the optimistic side before the season began when analyzing the prospects of the Charlotte Bobcats for the first month of the season. I was criticized a bit for predicting a 6-9 November start, and while I freely admit it was a bit of a reach at the time, it turns out my lofty expectations of a young (but talented) team weren’t so far fetched, after all. In fact, the Bobcats topped my prediction, and finished the first month of the season at 7-8.

They kickoff the month of December tonight against the Portland Trail Blazers, so it only made sense to get back to the magic eight ball and try to predict how the team will do over the course of the next month. It’s a month of giving, cheer, and holiday. Let’s see if the Bobcats will be spending it in a good mood or not as we break down and predict each game:

1. 12/3 – vs. Portland Trail Blazers (Loss)

Portland is inconsistent, but they’re bigger and stronger than Charlotte. This one could get messy at home.

2. 12/5 – vs. New York Knicks (Loss)

New York has struggled on the road a bit, but they shouldn’t in this one. They spread out the floor with the best of them and can hurt you inside and out. Their offense will simply be too much for the Bobcats in this one, as they start December 0-2.

3. 12/7 – @ Milwaukee Bucks (Win)

They’ve beaten Milwaukee before and the Bucks are a pretty inconsistent team. Charlotte can bang down low with them and they matchup well at the guard spots. It’ll be close, but I think the Bobcats get their first win of the Christmas season here.

“If Ramon Sessions continues to play as he has this first month he’ll end up the best free-agent signing in Bobcats history,” noted The Charlotte Observer’s Rick Bonnell, clearly forgetting about Othella Harrington and Dontell Jefferson.  Still, Sessions has been pretty good.  His 3-pointer on Monday night to tie the game late against the Milwaukee Bucks was my second-favorite trey in the last year, if for nothing else than Byron Mullens raising his hand up in triumph as—not after—Sessions took the shot (FYI: my #1 favorite was the Kevin Durant one against the Lakers in last season’s playoffs.  Check it out again here and tell me it doesn’t remind you EXACTLY of Indiana Jones nonchalantly gunning down the swordsman in Raiders of the Lost Ark.)  Sessions also sank two free throws in the final seconds to put the Bobcats up by two possessions.

In general, great things happen when the basketball court is in Sessions.  He was +6 in last night’s game, and he’s 4^th overall on the team for the season in plus-minus with a +3.2.   His 19.75 PER is third on the team, and he’s holding individual opponents to a PER of 10.6 to 14.5, depending on whether he’s playing the 1 or the 2.  In fact, I take it back: he may actually be better than Othella Harrington.

Yeah, gotta leave room

I always come up the title first and then the post.  That’s a fact.  You may read many first paragraphs of mine and say “He sure does like puns!”  And how.  When I wrote the title above, I immediately said to myself “Bobcats Moves?  That’s like saying you had moves at the middle school dance.  Sure, on some level, they’re moves.  But in reality, no one appreciates those ‘moves’ outside of you and your mom.”

The Bobcats, Bucks, Warriors, Timberwolves, Jazz and Wizards are in the D-List of NBA teams that get their roster needs met long after the A-List teams like the Nets, Knicks, Heat and Celtics, oh and the Lakers.  Haves and Have-Nots as always rule the day, especially in today’s NBA.

Now the rumor is Dwight Howard will be traded to the Nets, as he wanted at the trade deadline but for whatever reason, signed his player option with the Magic.  I read on another site, something about a Red Head being in flames, that the Bobcats could and possibly should try to act as a facilitator in this travesty.  Of course, it likely won’t happen as latest reports have the Cavaliers and Clippers are happy to step in and receive a little something for throwing a pick or player.  I’d say this just keeps teams like that suppressed.  The Magic will be bottom feeders for years to come except when they’re rewarded next year at the draft lottery.

No, I am not bitter.  I just don’t get the subjugation of NBA teams and they’re happy to get scraps.  Like the Magic making a move to let their second best player last season, Ryan Anderson go in a sign and trade rather than just a RFA move.  It’s almost like the idea the Bobcats had a few years ago, influenced by the classic Mark Cuban theory, to be good in the NBA you have to get real bad first.