The Bobcats’ 21-point lead in the second quarter was like a violent bout of diarrhea: explosive and cathartic but with a very messy ending. At least we’ll always have that second quarter. Ahead by 3 against the Hornets, the Bobcats raced to a 10-point lead to start the second. Then Michael Kidd-Gilchrist scored 12 of the Bobcats’ next 19 points as part of a run that put the Bobcats up by 21.

Sadly, the offense dried up in the 3^rd quarter like a pair of Huggies, as MKG scratched his cornea and the rest of the team shot just 11-of-29. The Bobcats still clung to a 6-point lead with 8:15 remaining in the 4^th quarter, but Ryan Anderson stuck the dagger in with a go-ahead 3-pointer and Eric Gordon twisted it around with 8 points in the last 4:45.

There were a number of puzzling aspects to this game, starting with play-by-play commenter Steve Martin saying early on, “This has been another typical encounter between the Bobcats and Hornets: there’s a lot at stake.” What’s ever been at stake between these two teams? They’re both perennial cellar-dwellers. I’ve played games of Sorry! with my 5-year-old nephew with more at stake. I remain baffled by that line.

A much more inexplicable move that nearly paid off was Hornets coach Monty “Pink Drawers” Williams’ decision to keep Anderson on the bench so long. For some reason, Williams opted to go with Lance Thomas to start the game rather than an all-big frontcourt of Anthony Davis, Anderson, and Robin Lopez. Anderson didn’t come in until there was 3:30 left in the first quarter, and the same thing happened in the 3^rd quarter. He ultimately played just 28 minutes, but he made the Bobcats pay for all of them with a 19-and-8 and his floor-spacing 3-point ability.

I was on the optimistic side before the season began when analyzing the prospects of the Charlotte Bobcats for the first month of the season. I was criticized a bit for predicting a 6-9 November start, and while I freely admit it was a bit of a reach at the time, it turns out my lofty expectations of a young (but talented) team weren’t so far fetched, after all. In fact, the Bobcats topped my prediction, and finished the first month of the season at 7-8.

They kickoff the month of December tonight against the Portland Trail Blazers, so it only made sense to get back to the magic eight ball and try to predict how the team will do over the course of the next month. It’s a month of giving, cheer, and holiday. Let’s see if the Bobcats will be spending it in a good mood or not as we break down and predict each game:

1. 12/3 – vs. Portland Trail Blazers (Loss)

Portland is inconsistent, but they’re bigger and stronger than Charlotte. This one could get messy at home.

2. 12/5 – vs. New York Knicks (Loss)

New York has struggled on the road a bit, but they shouldn’t in this one. They spread out the floor with the best of them and can hurt you inside and out. Their offense will simply be too much for the Bobcats in this one, as they start December 0-2.

3. 12/7 – @ Milwaukee Bucks (Win)

They’ve beaten Milwaukee before and the Bucks are a pretty inconsistent team. Charlotte can bang down low with them and they matchup well at the guard spots. It’ll be close, but I think the Bobcats get their first win of the Christmas season here.

The new team Charlotte team, our beloved Bobcats, take on the old Charlotte team, the New Orleans Hornets on Friday night. After seeing the Bobcats get a narrow win, get blown out, and put up a ton of points in an exciting loss (those exist?), there is hope for a win against a young Hornets squad.

Superstar rookie Anthony Davis could be back for this one (concussion), but that’s no lock, while the Bobcats will continue to play without shooting guard Gerald Henderson (foot).

Either way, these teams match up quite well, and this should make for a good, competitive game. I projected Charlotte to go 6-9 in the month of October, and with a win here they’d be 2-2 through four games, and would actually be on pace to do better than I originally thought.

Let’s break this one down and see who comes out a winner in Friday night’s game:

1. The Point – Edge: Bobcats

Grievis Vasquez leads the way for the Hornets, while he’s sometimes spelled by rookie Austin Rivers, who is clearly better suited for shooting guard. Vasquez is awkward and lanky, but he has the size and length to play good defense and actually somehow runs a decent offense. His shot is ugly and he doesn’t look special, but he does seem to get the job done. He’ll give Charlotte’s combo of Kemba Walker and Ramon Sessions at the point a bit of trouble from the defensive end, but ultimately I don’t think he can completely contain them by himself, and I don’t think he’ll be unstoppable on the other end. Walker is too explosive of a scorer and Sessions has more experience and stability. Vasquez is alone at the point for the most part, and I don’t see him winning this battle.

Amazingly, the Bobcats continue to break new records in humiliation.  I personally thought they topped out by losing back-to-back blowouts to the Cavaliers and Wizards last week, but it turns out they were just getting warmed up.  In fact, those games were mere wedgies and “Kick Me” signs compared to the bucket of pig’s blood that was Monday’s Hornets game.

But before getting to that one, I don’t want to take away from Sunday night’s loss to the Celtics, because it was marvelously putrid in its own right.  For starters, the C’s rested their “Big 3” of Garnett, Pierce, and Allen.  It made no difference, though, because right now the Bobcats couldn’t beat the band Boston, let alone the basketball team. PG Rajon Rondo (20-16-6) had his way with the entire team, frequently tangling up Kemba Walker and DJ Augustin in screens like Batman villains on the old 60s TV show.  Rondo was hardly alone, though.  Greg Stiemsma, a cross between Serge Ibaka and Eminem, blocked 6 shots and owned the paint.  Avery Bradley and Brandon Bass combined to go 18-for-33 from the field.  Ryan Hollins played 20 minutes.  That’s how bad it was.

And then came the Hornets game, which was the NBA’s answer to the Pete Campbell-Lane Pryce fight.  In a spectacular display of joint-incompetence, both teams threatened to break the all-time lowest scoring mark held by the Celtics and the Hawks…That would be the Milwaukee Hawks of 1955, back when the league was populated by guys named Dickie, Whitey, and Adolph.  Poor Spencer Percy’s recap of this embarrassing monstrosity for ESPN’s Daily Dime read more like a cry for help. “That was painful, pitiful, pathetic. Take your pick,” Percy wrote, “I’m just not so sure this team isn’t really the worst ever. Every night it gets harder to watch the Bobcats play.”  Percy should just make a hologram of himself reading his recap and send it to David Stern, Princess Leia-style.

Did anyone catch NBA Commissioner David Stern’s remarks to the New Orleans Times-Picayune?  He proudly announced that the Hornets are very close to having a new team owner with a sweet deal “that will have a very favorable lease, important capital improvements, intense tax benefits and a new TV deal to boot.’’  First of all, I love how he describes the tax benefits as “intense.”  Second, has anyone bothered to think about what any of that means?  Sorry to go all Dave Zirin on you, but check this out:

• A “favorable lease” translates to “cheap/zero rent,” which is crucial, because guess who owns New Orleans Arena?  The state of Louisiana.  No revenue for you, LA, except whatever you can get out of concerts and the occasional crawfish convention.  (But I’m sure that will be more than enough to recoup the $100+ million you charged taxpayers to build the place)
• “Important capital improvements” implies that somebody other than the team owner, such as the owners of New Orleans Arena (which is who again?) will be borrowing/taxing to pay for more luxury boxes for the ultra-wealthy so that they don’t have to mix with the plebeians (a.k.a., the ones paying the taxes).
• “Intense tax benefits” means “intense tax benefits.”

So congratulations, Louisiana, you’re about to go even further in debt for the privilege of making some plutocrat even wealthier than he already is!  I don’t know why I’m upset over this—I mean, it’s not like New Orleans has any infrastructure needs or anything!  Well, other than the Lower 9^th Ward, which apparently is in danger of turning into Cambodia circa-1975.  The few remaining citizens are afraid to go outside because they might get attacked—not by drug dealers or rapists, by wild animals.  But who cares when you’ve got the 2012-2013 Hornets: Catch the Buzz!

New Orleans is another one of those good teams, coming into last night’s game 24-16, that the Bobcats have to beat.  Well, they had a chance but squandered it by regressing.  Too often last night the ‘Cats fell into old habits of complaining, protesting calls, slowing down the offense and allowing easy baskets off of turnovers.  Biggest single example?  Tyrus Thomas giving the ol’ crook of the arm to former Bobcat Emeka Okafor.  The play resulted in T-Time’s ejection, 2 shots for Okafor (which he made…go figure) and the ball for the Hornets.  81-77 when the rebound occured and 85-77 at the end of that exchange.  Two and a half minutes to go in the game and one act of stupidity results in an additional 4 points that the offending party wouldn’t be around to help get back.