In their continuing quest to seek out new ways to lose in the most agonizing manner possible, the Bobcats discovered two gems this week.  On Monday they went from hitting the Ben Gordon Lottery to flat broke in 5 minutes.  On Wednesday they figured, “Why bother trying to defeat the Knicks ourselves when J.R. Smith is willing to do it for free?”  The trick almost worked, with Smith and company chucking their way to oblivion until the Bobcats went on a murderous turnover spree in the final handful of plays, setting up Smith and his happy dance.  The root cause of both of these disasters was—again—poor defensive rebounding.  Do you know what the definition of insanity is?  It’s saying that stupid definition-of-insanity line over and over and expecting people to think you’re cool.  But it’s also expecting to win when you give the opposing team more second chances than Chris Brown.  The Bobcats are now dead-last in opponents’ offensive rebound rate, and if they don’t start boxing out like a homeless meth addict immediately, we’re never going to get our 8^th win.

The Monday night loss to the Blazers continues to haunt me worse than a Ke$ha rap.  First of all, Portland was playing its 6^th straight road game and coming off an extremely unimpressive OT game with Cleveland.  In other words, the Blazers were riper for the picking than Lady Gaga’s nose.  Plus, do you know how bad their second unit is?  Joel Freeland, Luke Babbitt, Meyers Leonard, Nolan Smith, Will Barton, and Sasha Pavlovic!?  I’ve seen more attractive benches being puked on by hobos in Central Park.

So far I’m 1-0 for the month of December. I’m pretty sure you are too, in regards to predicting the December record for the Charlotte Bobcats, but still. Undefeated is undefeated. The good news is, I didn’t really give Charlotte much of a chance in last night’s game with the formidable New York Knicks. Instead of bowing out early, however, Charlotte showed us the tenacity they’re displayed frequently in this young 2012 season. In fact, had it not been for a late J.R. Smith jumper, the Bobcats might have pulled this one off.

While we wipe away the tears stemming from a close 100-98 loss on Wednesday night, let’s move forward and analyze the good and bad we can take away from another game for the Bobcats:

1. Kemba Walker is Still the Man

I’m half expecting his solid second-year run to drop off at some point, but all Walker does is keep on beasting at the right time. He’s carrying an over-achieving, young group that simply wants to compete. With 25 points and 11 dimes against the Knicks, Walker didn’t just lead the way, but he paced both teams and controlled the tempo of this game. The stud sophomor now has just one game under double digits scoring on the year.

I was on the optimistic side before the season began when analyzing the prospects of the Charlotte Bobcats for the first month of the season. I was criticized a bit for predicting a 6-9 November start, and while I freely admit it was a bit of a reach at the time, it turns out my lofty expectations of a young (but talented) team weren’t so far fetched, after all. In fact, the Bobcats topped my prediction, and finished the first month of the season at 7-8.

They kickoff the month of December tonight against the Portland Trail Blazers, so it only made sense to get back to the magic eight ball and try to predict how the team will do over the course of the next month. It’s a month of giving, cheer, and holiday. Let’s see if the Bobcats will be spending it in a good mood or not as we break down and predict each game:

1. 12/3 – vs. Portland Trail Blazers (Loss)

Portland is inconsistent, but they’re bigger and stronger than Charlotte. This one could get messy at home.

2. 12/5 – vs. New York Knicks (Loss)

New York has struggled on the road a bit, but they shouldn’t in this one. They spread out the floor with the best of them and can hurt you inside and out. Their offense will simply be too much for the Bobcats in this one, as they start December 0-2.

3. 12/7 – @ Milwaukee Bucks (Win)

They’ve beaten Milwaukee before and the Bucks are a pretty inconsistent team. Charlotte can bang down low with them and they matchup well at the guard spots. It’ll be close, but I think the Bobcats get their first win of the Christmas season here.

As a part of this planet, there are certain things you just can’t control. Like where you are born, who your parents are, your height or the color of your skin. Myself, born in Oslo, Norway, grew up and stopped at 5’8, dark hair, dark eyes, and was stuck on the countryside of Bergen through the age of 20. There were literally nothing to do besides playing soccer. I was lucky enough to be good at it, so I stuck with it. But for all my other interests, like skateboarding, snowboarding, drawing, basketball, programming, computers and so on, I figured my chances were slim very early on. I was only 5’8 and stopped growing at the age of 16, so any dreams of being an NBA center never occurred. Not because I didn’t want to be a 7’0 foot tall ball player but because I wasn’t. And the same way people have to let their guard down and accept that things just are different. Situations and qualities are always different, the NBA franchises has to accept the same.

The Los Angeles Lakers are lucky to be located in a big area, with millions of people. The Knicks are also lucky to be located in the center of the huge NYC. And while these teams are so lucky, the smaller teams should just accept what it is. Some teams are fortunate, and the others, must compensate. Which is exactly what needs to be done in small market teams. There is no chance that all the 30 teams in the NBA can ever create a similar fan base, market size etc. Small market teams on the other hand has a tendency to play that ”But we can’t sell tickets because we are located in a crappy market” card.. And that is where the Small Market teams should shut their mouth, and accept what it is. At some point, someone chose to start a franchise in Charlotte, Indiana, Sacramento or Toronto. And those guys knew, that these franchises were going to be harder to run.

Look at it this way, Bobcats fans: at least “.106 winning percentage” doesn’t make for a very catchy derisive chant.  Not only is Charlotte officially the worst team ever, with 23 losses to close out the season (23—the Irony-Meter’s on 10), one month-old Bobcats fans everywhere are wondering if the Bobcats will ever win a game in their lifetime.  At least Scott Fowler should be happy.  The Charlotte Observer columnist wrote an idiotic article on Saturday hoping that the Bobcats would lose out in order to achieve a sort of “worst-ever” celebrity status.  “Make this season one for the record books,” Fowler wrote, “and then rebuild.”  Call me crazy, but I see no upside in being associated with the worst-ever team.

Actually, Fred Carter would call me crazy.  The unofficial spokesman for the 1972-73 76ers, the NBA’s now-former worst-ever team, really did seem to revel in the notoriety.  Back in 2010, when the Nets were threatening to displace the 76ers as the worst-ever team, Carter told the New York Times that he hoped it wouldn’t happen. “Immortality only comes in so many different ways,” Carter reasoned, sounding disturbingly like how I imagine Charles Manson looks back on the Tate-Labianca murders.  Then again, Carter also claims credit for being the person who invented the fist-bump, so he might be a few beers short of a six-pack.  I’m even slightly worried that Carter might take out a lawsuit against the Bobcats for a combination of defamation and copyright infringement.

I don’t actually have anything to say about Jeremy Lin; I’m just trying to drive traffic to our website.[1]  In fact, as an NYC resident, I mostly can’t even watch Lin play, due to James Dolan’s dispute with Time Warner.[2]  I’ve written about this at length, and the bottom line is that Knicks games aren’t available to Time Warner customers.[3]  This is especially problematic because Time Warner is the only cable provider in town.[4]  There is no “good guy” in this dispute that fans can back, by the way—both entities are loathsome; it’s like trying to cheer for Alien vs. Predator.  So while the rest of the world has been enjoying Lin’s exploits, I’m stuck watching the Bobcats, who unfortunately are heavily sponsored by Time Warner and therefore can’t be in a dispute that knocks them off Time Warner.[5]

At least the Bobcats played their latest two opponents (the Sixers and the Timberwolves) close—well, closer.  In fact, I think we could have beaten the Timberwolves if we’d played them two weeks ago when Kevin Love was suspended…Well, maybe not, because two weeks ago we wouldn’t have had Corey Maggette or DJ Augustin in the lineup.  But if the Bobcats of last night had played the Timberwolves of two weeks ago, then I think we would have won…Well, maybe not, because I think we would also need Gerald Henderson, too, and he’s probably not going to be back for two more weeks.  So put it this way: if the Bobcats of two weeks into the future had played the Timberwolves of two weeks ago last night, I think the Bobcats would have won.  But only if the game was also at home.