According to Rick Bonnell, Tyrus Thomas didn’t even join the team on the latest West Coast road trip. I find this stunning, considering that coach Dunlap has shown he’ll still play guys who are willfully insubordinate (Ben Gordon) or who are willfully trying to eat their way onto a future season of The Biggest Loser (DeSagana Diop). As I gaze at Thomas’s image on my cubicle calendar, trapped in 2-D purgatory like Zod, Ursa, and Nod in Superman II, his hand held aloft—in all likelihood acknowledging to referees that he was the one who committed the personal foul—is that a twinge of pity I feel for the man?

Perhaps, but more likely it’s the twinge of my hands on my stomach as I try to suppress my own vomit. The road trip the Bobcats just completed was the worst one I’ve ever seen that didn’t involve Tom Green. How on earth the Bobcats found themselves trailing by 41 to the Sacramento Kings—who it should be noted were playing without the use of cyborgs—is a question I’d pose to Zoltar if I had a wish.

Tonight, I forgot there was a game.  Apparently, so did the Charlotte Bobcats.  That’s a bad joke thousands of people make all the time.  I often make it.  My dear sweet, long suffering mother often asks, “Are the Bobcats playing tonight?”  I respond with the incredibly ingenius “Well, they were scheduled to, but they forgot the playing part,” or something along those lines.

I tuned to the game with about 3 minutes left, thinking “Oh good, it’s Sacramento, they’re in big trouble,” and was quickly stunned to see 76-117.  Sacramento gets a lot of attention lately, mostly for being rudderless and lost, whether they’ll be sold and then moved, sold and stay, or just suck forever.  They’re playing in a no-name arena in front of a few people.  Hell, they made a trade just before the deadline, trading the #5 overall pick, Thomas Robinson to Houston in basically a salary dump.  There have only been maybe 6 top 5 picks traded in their rookie year, so this is truly historic rolling over.  Still, they put up 119 points against the Bobcats.

I was almost certain this year wouldn’t be like last year but the last few games have proved me wrong.  98-68 loss at the Jazz.  106-84 to the Clippers.  Coach Mike Dunlap is saying things like “This one just scooted away from us,”  ”Trying to stay upbeat, we have a game tomorrow and it’s all about playing with energy…team basketball.”  C’mon man, let’s get serious here.

The Bobcats didn’t put up much of a fight on Friday night against the Utah Jazz. Not only did backup center Enes Kanter absolutely destroy them for an impressive 20-20 line, but they also lost by 30 and scored just 68 points. Good thing they have an equally dysfunctional squad on the docket on Sunday when they take on the Sacramento Kings.

The bad news, however, is that Charlotte is once again waist-deep in a losing streak (currently a quality five game skid), and they’re playing on the road, where they’ve won just six games all season. Yikes, right?

Yes, but the Kings can be a baffling bunch, as well, so you have to like Charlotte’s chances to pull one out. Let’s take a closer look at the matchup and see who might come out on top on Sunday:

1. The Point – Edge: Bobcats

Isaiah Thomas is solid and I actually like Jimmer Fredette off the bench, but Keither Smart messes with these guys’ heads too much and neither is all that great at defense. Kemba Walker is a legit Most Improve Player of the Year candidate and is the better natural PG of the three. He also has been more consistent and is probably a better defender, as well.

I should first say that I’m totally in favor of playing Hakim Warrick over Tyrus Thomas whenever it’s humanly possible, and probably also when it’s possible for cyborgs, androids, mutants, Vulcans, Terminators, Robocops, UniSols, replicants, and robots with human brains. Thomas has been an abject failure for the Bobcats, and Warrick is better than him in most meaningful offensive categories: TS% (.472 to .396), PER (11.8 to 8.7), RB% (10.8 to 9.8), AST% (8.7 to 7.0). Thomas does have an edge defensively—the Bobcats are 5.4 points stingier per 100 possessions with Thomas on the floor, vs. .3 points for Warrick; Thomas allows a defensive PER of 17.6 compared to Warrick’s 18.6; and Thomas is a superior shot blocker (in fact, Warrick apparently couldn’t block a shot if you pegged the ball directly at his groin). But I would gladly fork over that 1.0 PER for the privilege of never having to see Thomas hoist those hopeless 20-footers, especially when you throw in Warrick’s ability to get to the foul line. So, good move, coach Dunlap for going all in on Hakim.

But oh lord in heaven did Warrick cough it up like a Beijing street urchin at the worst possible time last night against the Sacramento Kings. With the game tied at 90 and about a minute-and-a-half left, Warrick fumbled a pass, had it stolen by Isaiah Thomas, and then chased down Tyreke Evans on the fast break for a goaltend. That’s right: a turnover and a goaltend in one sequence; it was the ol’ Bismack-two-for-one. He then rattled out a pretty makeable 7-footer that was rebounded by the Kings, and after an iffy-Kemba Walker shooting foul, Thomas sank both free throws to effectively end the game.

The Charlotte Bobcats snapped their disgusting losing streak at 18 games, but there is still a lot of improvement to be made on both sides of the ball. With the NBA trade deadline quickly approaching come February, Charlotte may want to consider sending off some young guys or players in contract years in an effort to land a major upgrade.

And while at the moment it’s just gossip, there’s a real chance the Bobcats make a legit run at landing a potential superstar. It’s just a blurb in Marc Spears’ NBA Power Rankings, but it’s still worth noting: the Bobcats could make a run for Sacramento Kings’ big man DeMarcus Cousins.

With Byron Mullens hurting and struggling with consistency even when healthy, landing a balanced star like Cousins could completely change the dynamic of Charlotte’s attack at both ends of the court. The Bobcats already have a steady and growing young point guard in Kemba Walker and a forward with loads of upside in Michael Kidd-Gilchrist. Landing a premier threat down low that can pound inside, shoot mid-range jumpers, handle the rock and even play defense could go a long way in helping Charlotte turn back into a playoff team.

It wouldn’t be a lock to happen this year, but it would certainly be a huge step in the right direction.

Not only are the Bobcats 7-57 against the league, they’re now 0-2 against national columnists.  In SI.com, Michael Rosenberg wondered how someone as competitive as Michael Jordan could let something like this season happen.  In his ESPN Insider Per Diem column, John Hollinger demonstrated how the team’s atrociousness is historically significant.  I halfway expect to turn on tomorrow night’s game against Orlando and see Anderson Cooper solemnly reporting from outside of the arena, wearing a CNN-branded raincoat and describing the situation as an “ongoing catastrophe.”  The Bobcats are officially in Secret Service-territory now, a national embarrassment.  They’re also the worst nightmare for fans like me, who hope that if their teams can’t be any good then can’t they at least not make a scene?

Nope, they’re making that scene.  In fact, they’re getting drunk and throwing up in a crowded restaurant while picking their noses.  With spinach in their teeth.  “When the Kings arrived in North Carolina on Saturday evening,” wrote Jason Jones in the Sacramento Bee, “they had a practice that focused on what they needed to do to beat the Bobcats.”  Does that mean they practiced showing up?  Because I’m not really sure what else is required nowadays. The Kings owned more paint than Sherwin-Williams, scoring 78 from close-range.  DeMarcus Cousins, Jason Thompson, and Travis Outlaw rampaged through the Bobcats’ frontcourt like George, Lizzy, and Ralph.  It wasn’t just Sacramento’s bigs, either; the Bobcats made Isaiah Thomas look like Isiah Thomas, and Tyreke Evans’ notorious inability to develop long-distance range didn’t really matter when all of his shots were slam-dunks.  To me, this felt like the first time the Bobcats had genuinely stopped trying, especially on defense.  Everything about their effort was humiliating, including the technical foul on Bismack Biyombo (although I guess that means his English must really be coming along).