There were worse ways that you could have spent your time Wednesday night than watching the Bobcats-Raptors game. You could have been robbing a bank, for instance. Or molesting a zoo animal. Or getting suspended for a physical alteration with a rival TV commentator (side note: good thing you couldn’t put money on which CSN commentator Kendall Gill would get suspended for punching first: Stacey King or the field, because I would have bet my life savings on King. The fact that Gill burned a suspension on punching someone other than King seems like a terrible waste of an opportunity). All of those options have their merits obviously, but only the Bobcats-Raptors game offered the possibility of witnessing effective play from Josh McRoberts and Jannero Pargo.
I am not a fan of overstating things. I still remember several years ago when Rolling Stone magazine was doing one of those “Top Albums of the 80s” issues, and one of the selections was Metallica’s Master of Puppets. I forget the wording they used exactly to describe the album, but I remember something like, “a stinging rejection of Reagan-era policies,” and I remember almost choking on my Yoo-Hoo. Look, I love that album with all of my heart, but it had NOTHING to do with Ronald Reagan, or really anything reality-related. This was four metal dudes chugging beer and writing about metal stuff, period; one of the songs featured a gigantic sea monster. In fact, if James Hetfield ever reveals that “Leper Messiah” was really a rebuke against the Tax Reform Act of 1986, I’m going to be really bummed out.