If any good came out of the Bobcats’ latest disaster-piece, a 98-68 shelling in Utah, it’s that Charlotte maybe has a better chance now of bargaining down the price of either Al Jefferson or Paul Millsap in the offseason. That’s because both Jazz big men sat out last night with sprained ankles (Millsap was also busy naming his newborn daughter “Paular”), and their sneakers were ably filled by Derrick Favors and Enes Kanter. Both Millsap and Jefferson are on the last years of their contracts, and if last night was any indication, the Jazz might potentially feel comfortable avoiding a bidding war for them, knowing that they have the younger Favors and Kanter to take their places. And maybe the Bobcats could pick one or both of them up.

I should just stop right there, because anytime I do that I sound like Dr. Brown developing a theory for a working flux capacitor. It ain’t going to happen. Besides, such a move wouldn’t make the Bobcats contenders, or probably even very good. On the other hand, it would at least reduce the frequency of games like last night’s. Kanter, a one-man Turkish prison, tortured the Bobcats with 23 points (on 10-12 shooting) and 22 rebounds. The Turkish Bath Salt ate through Bobcats defenders, freeing up benchmates Jeremy Evans, DeMarre Carroll, and Gordon Hayward, who combined to go 18-of-30 in the rout.

That title is clumsier than Gerald Ford after doing keg stands of morphine, I know, but it’s the best I could think of after the unholy mauling endured by the Bobcats frontcourt last night. I’m still traumatized.  Al Jefferson and Paul Millsap and Derrick Favors and even DeMarre Carroll ripped out the collective heart of the Bobcats’ interior and showed it to them before they died. Late in the game, which I was inexplicably still watching, after yet another Al Jefferson dunk-and-one, color commentator Dell Curry pointed out, “One thing that’s not noticed is how good Utah’s entry passes are into their bigs.” Bismack Biyombo sure didn’t seem to notice anything all night long. Jefferson had his way with Biyombo like he was Sally Hemings. Tyrus Thomas was no help, either; in fact, he was anti-help. He shot 4 miserable long-range 2’s, turned it over twice, and was minus-11 in 12 minutes of “work.” Hakeem Warrick was more effective on the offensive end than Thomas (how could he not be?), but he was equally helpless defensively. Brendan Haywood, meanwhile, has taken up the Danny Glover-in-Lethal Weapon role; he’s grumpy and too old for this s—. All together, the Jazz’ bigs went 29-for-44. All together, our bigs are defending like 1990 Kuwait.

At least that would explain the barrage of inaccurate shit-balls this team keeps smearing in the general vicinity of the backboards this year.  Occasionally one will plop into the net, but mostly they splatter every which way, before being hauled in by Kris Humphries, Al Jefferson, and various other non-Bobcats—because the team can’t rebound, either (28^th in rebound rate).  The Bobcats are shooting 41.4% this season, which is not only last in the NBA, it would be last in the National Monkeys Hurling Their Own Feces At Each Other League if there were such a thing (to my knowledge, there isn’t).  In fact, in every conceivable sub-metric of shooting, the Bobcats are soiling the record books.

And that 41.4 percentage is falling fast.  Against, the Nets on Friday, Charlotte couldn’t even crack the 35% barrier.  Worse, we can’t even blame this on Boris Diaw, because his playing status—which was often questionable even when he was on the court—is now official: he’s going to sit until he’s bought out or traded.  This, by the way, is one of the most comical trade demands of all time.  I mean, if a team really wanted a large fat Frenchman, why not just take Gérard Depardieu?  I bet he’d be a lot cheaper and you could probably get free copies of Green Card.  But never mind, my point is, even when Diaw did play, he really only played-ish, taking just 8 shots a game.  Unfortunately, this scatological shooting performance is one of the few things in life that isn’t all Diaw’s fault.  It’s the fault of the 3-headed monster DJ Augustin, Kemba Walker, and Corey Maggette, which collectively shoots 35.3 times per game and collectively makes just 37.7% of them.  Statisticians don’t need a calculator to add all this up, they need a ream of toilet paper.

That may not be the most accurate description, but that is exactly how Deron Williams’ floater felt to me when he drained it with 0.8 seconds left on the clock

Did you guys get that same sick pain too?

The Bobcats vs. the Jazz 2/24/10

It is pure frustration when the highlight of a game, (for your team), is two technical fouls called on the head coach resulting in his ejection! I wish that there was one problem I could point to as the cause of the teams’ frustrating play since the All-Star break. I think there will be those folk that complain about calls by the refs. I see that as a weak (non-excuse) when the Bobcats when to the foul-line 34-23 against the Jazz. There is not just one problem I fear. It is starting to look (to me) as if we’re seeing an organizational meltdown. In the next 5-6 days we’ll know (supposedly) who the new team owner(s) will be, I can only hope this settles the team, as they remain in the play-off chase. But, if the “wheels” continue to come off, game-after-game, there is little hope of this team making the play-offs. I’ve rarely watched the Bobcats play a better first half. They made few mistakes, drove to the basket, out-muscled a physical Jazz team, and looked every-bit the play-off team we’ve thought they’d be this year. Timely substitutions were made, the bench looked good, and the game was managed very effectively by coach Brown. The second half was a completely different story.

The team stopped driving, stopped fighting for rebounds, and frustration (from the coaches and players) seemed to grip the team. When Raymond Felton had to sit, (with four fouls), the match-up between D. Williams and DJ Augustin was akin to watching a grown man push a child down a hill, not much of a match-up. Boris Diaw, (mercifully), was on the court for only 7 minutes in the first half. Unfortunately, for the team, he played 23 minutes in the second half. Why was that a problem? When he was on the floor we usually had one Bobcat player trying to rebound against 2-3 Jazz players. When he was off the floor as many as three ‘Cats players were under the boards trying to rebound. I can’t tell you why this happens because I don’t know why it happens! But, after controlling the boards in the first half, the Bobcats finished the game being out-rebounded by the Jazz, 42-34. The timely substitutions were not duplicated in the second half. The dunk of the game (for me) was a vicious-left-handed-throw-down by rookie D. Brown. He brought energy and intensity for the time he played in the first half. Where was he in the second half…on the bench! With very tough teams coming to Time-Warner Arena things do not get any easier. The ‘Cats had a chance to pull back into the eighth seed with a victory, that did not happen.

The loss keeps the Bobcats in the ninth position in the Eastern Conference and out of the play-offs for the moment. We can only hope that a resolution of ownership will help the team correct itself. The Bobcats are now two games under the .500 mark at (27-29).

The Good:

Gerald Wallace with 27 points and 8 rebounds.

Theo Ratliff with 4 blocked shots.

Tyrus Thomas with a season high 20 points.

First-half bench play.

The Bad:

Team shooting (41.2%).

The Ugly:

DJ trying to guard D. Williams.

The second half.

Out-rebounded 42-34.

Next game for the Bobcats: Wednesday 2/26/10 8:00pm at Memphis Grizzlies

The Bobcats lost to the Jazz last night 110 – 102, This however was no fault of Gerald Wallace who busted his ass on the court to the tune of 30 points, 13 rebounds, 5 assists and 2 steals. Unfortunately not everyone has been in the same level of effort as Crash *cough* BORIS DIAW *cough*… excuse me, must be my hayfever acting up again. Crash decided to make his thoughts public and for this we applaud him.

Gerald’s comments via Yahoo Sports

“You look between our 4-man and our 5-man, we got eight rebounds,” Wallace said. “I don’t think we’re taking pride in our defensive assignments, personally. We’re not coming out and taking pride in helping our teammates.”

Wallace, who has 16 double-doubles, was asked how to fix Charlotte’s problems.

“You tell me. Can you fix somebody’s heart? Can you fix somebody’s effort?” Wallace said. “That’s a personal thing. That’s something that person has to deal with mentally: Whether he wants it or not, or whether he’s up to the task to come out and competing with us every night.”

Stephen Jackson who has been doing his part also chimed in with the following:

“You’ve got to look in the mirror,” Jackson said. “We’re all blessed to have this job. We’re all blessed to be able to take care of our families. I think we owe it to our teammates and yourself to go out there and play with more respect for the game.”

After hearing those comments from their teammates, let’s hope that Boris Diaw, and yes you too Tyson Chandler show some heart and begin to play with the effort that the rest of their team is every single night