Amazingly, the Bobcats continue to break new records in humiliation. I personally thought they topped out by losing back-to-back blowouts to the Cavaliers and Wizards last week, but it turns out they were just getting warmed up. In fact, those games were mere wedgies and “Kick Me” signs compared to the bucket of pig’s blood that was Monday’s Hornets game.
But before getting to that one, I don’t want to take away from Sunday night’s loss to the Celtics, because it was marvelously putrid in its own right. For starters, the C’s rested their “Big 3” of Garnett, Pierce, and Allen. It made no difference, though, because right now the Bobcats couldn’t beat the band Boston, let alone the basketball team. PG Rajon Rondo (20-16-6) had his way with the entire team, frequently tangling up Kemba Walker and DJ Augustin in screens like Batman villains on the old 60s TV show. Rondo was hardly alone, though. Greg Stiemsma, a cross between Serge Ibaka and Eminem, blocked 6 shots and owned the paint. Avery Bradley and Brandon Bass combined to go 18-for-33 from the field. Ryan Hollins played 20 minutes. That’s how bad it was.
And then came the Hornets game, which was the NBA’s answer to the Pete Campbell-Lane Pryce fight. In a spectacular display of joint-incompetence, both teams threatened to break the all-time lowest scoring mark held by the Celtics and the Hawks…That would be the Milwaukee Hawks of 1955, back when the league was populated by guys named Dickie, Whitey, and Adolph. Poor Spencer Percy’s recap of this embarrassing monstrosity for ESPN’s Daily Dime read more like a cry for help. “That was painful, pitiful, pathetic. Take your pick,” Percy wrote, “I’m just not so sure this team isn’t really the worst ever. Every night it gets harder to watch the Bobcats play.” Percy should just make a hologram of himself reading his recap and send it to David Stern, Princess Leia-style.