Last week, the Bobcats decided not to bring back Coach Paul Silas for the 2012-2013 season. Though it should be noted that they’re keeping him on as a consultant, which—given this team—is arguably a crueler thing to do than simply firing him. Anyway, the search is now on for his replacement. Besides the qualities mentioned in the headline, GM Rod Higgins told the Charlotte Observer’s Rick Bonnell that the Bobcats are looking for someone who views the job as an “opportunity” and stresses that he doesn’t necessarily have to be an ex-NBA coach. Bonnell somehow found this gibberish insightful enough to produce several articles’ worth of analysis, including one with an elaborate 3-legged stool metaphor. Poor Rick.
And speaking of “stools,” let’s talk about last season. Now that we’re a week removed from harmful exposure to the carcinogenic 2012 Bobcats, yet still comfortably far off from the lottery, it’s time to reflect on what has happened…before the slowly-but-steadily increasing anxiety at the thought of losing the lottery completely devours my brain like Kahn’s ear worms in Star Trek 2. Like my midseason recap/toxicology report, I’m going to go through each player in descending order of playing time (which also means I’ll be going through each player in descending order of my mental sanity). We’ll see how far I can get, but chances are we’ll have to break this column up into a few parts; otherwise I’ll just collapse to the floor and start laughing hysterically like Tom Hanks in The Money Pit. Here we go…
Coach Paul Silas – Okay, he technically didn’t play, but that’s okay, because he often technically didn’t coach either. Still, a few words are in order for our dearly departed coach. In his defense, he had a lineup that was intentionally terrible (thanks to management), and he lost the 6th most man-games to injury (side note: hey, look at that, we were among the league leaders in something!). But in his “offense” (?), what’s Paul Silas known for? Okay, other then looking more confused on the sidelines than Katie Couric after a Sarah Palin response? He’s known for rebounding and toughness. So at the very least, he should have instilled those characteristics in his team. And in this endeavor he completely failed; the Bobcats were 28th in overall rebounding rate and allowed the most shots at the rim of any team. The frontcourt couldn’t have been less intimidating if they had decided to start every game off with a reenactment of the video for “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It).” So for this reason alone, I have no problem with letting Silas go. Also, his contract was up. Also, with a potential superstar rookie coming on board and some big name coaches available, it’s probably better to start fresh…Oh yeah, and also, this was the worst team of all time.
